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This turned out to be a big mistake.
As I watched Meredith Gray and Derek Shepherd promise to "take care of one another, even when we were old, stinking, and senile," the bar of my own wishes has grown considerably . While I had hoped to keep them sweet and simple, I now wanted to move my future husband. Make him cry and smile at the same time, just as I watched the iconic moment between these two characters. To tell him, in the way "Gray's Anatomy", that I chose him, chose and that I will always love him.
Fortunately, the declaration of radical love is the main language of the showrunner Krista Vernoff. In this form of art, she is van Gogh on TV.
Vernoff was my first call – and finally, my only call – shortly after I began to sweat to write my greetings to a guy who was my personal McDreamy, without the scrubs.
There have been many weddings in 15 seasons of "Gray's Anatomy". (The final season of the show is broadcast Thursday night.)
They took place on ferries, in barns, in gardens, in courthouses, in salons, in gilded chapels, and even in a cloakroom where the aforesaid vows were written on a little blue post-it.
Vernoff, who also runs "Station 19" for ABC, knows about weddings.
In addition to her television credentials, she is also a bride, having married her production partner Alexander Schmitt about five months ago.
"My approach to writing my own wishes was to be as intimate and personal as possible and to have a sense of humor," she said. "The key to getting people to listen to your words, really and truly, is to make them laugh too."
Vernoff never doubted her wish-making skills, but her future husband, who works in entertainment but who is not a writer, was at first "nervous to see that, in any way or on another, her people would not live up to mine, "she said.
His worries proved useless.
"He spoke more about these very very romantic details about what he thought he could be and what we could become together and what the junction of our souls was doing and what the junction of our lights was doing", she said. "He brought so much romance to him that it really surprised everyone."
Vernoff talked about their first date – how awkward and romantic he was and she loved it. She explained how he raises his children and is always present for his daughter.
She also shot a turning point that could have been drawn from an episode of "Gray's Anatomy": her husband is French, so she secretly had her wishes translated into her native language and worked with a coach so that she can recite them correctly.
"It was a pretty amazing surprise for him," she said. "Bring a little drama – a little romance, a little comedy, a little drama."
And a word counts.
Although Vernoff's council is focused on the content of the wishes, she emphasized the importance of this practical preparation.
"In fact, I went to two weddings where they said:" You write yours and I write mine and we will surprise each other. "And the bride, in both cases, had written three sentences and the groom had written two pages, "she said. "And you saw it standing up, feeling like:" Oh, I really missed that, I did not do enough. "
Do not write enough is never a problem for Vernoff and the staff of "Gray's Anatomy". In fact, when they create wedding moments for television, they sometimes have too much material and, because of the constraints imposed on television, end up having to cut the vows together.
"Often, even if the wishes were written in the script, if the episode is long, you end up modifying it and playing music over a visual montage," she said. "But the characters need something to say, even if you do not let the audience hear what he's saying."
When asked if it meant that there were any wishes that fans of "Gray's Anatomy" had never heard before, she replied, "I suspect that" There were some. "
On Thursday nights, "Gray's Anatomy" address an audience about 100,000 times more than your average wedding crowd. Yet, he manages to make his greatest moments intimate. Vernoff works hard, however, so that they can also reach as many viewers as possible.
"No matter when you are doing a show with a wedding, a person watching is looking at a heart attack, a person has stayed at the altar, a person who is going through a breakup, a person who is divorcing want to give up this audience considering it as a romantic ideal that they might not be able to bring in right now, "she said.
For example, one of the show's off-screen wedding episodes had Meredith evoking studies that claimed married people were leading a healthier life. At the end of the episode, she develops this with other evidence that concludes that a healthier life does not necessarily result from marriage, but rather from one-person, romantic or romantic partnerships. no. You do not need a spouse. you simply need someone you can trust, whom you can talk to and who is with you all your life, "said the voiceover.
The same audience considerations do not have to be made at a wedding, but Vernoff did it. The forty or so people in attendance all wore white and cream and did not organize a wedding party because "everyone was my wedding party".
"For me, my community, my circle of friends is as essential to my happiness and well-being as my relationship," she said. "To each his and hers, but my approach to my wedding was similar to the show, which is to say that I want everyone to feel included."
Right now, I'm seven months away from the wedding. You have ample time to ponder, pick words and choose the prose that best summarizes the promise I'm making and why I'm doing it.
It is also time to go buy post-it.
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