3dfx’s big hardware announcement is full of hot air and impossibilities

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Believe it or not, the 3dfx Interactive Twitter account that caused the buzz about a supposed comeback made its promised announcement today, and we weren’t Rick Rolled! However, we might as well have been. The punchline of what we’re 99.999% sure is a joke (who are we kidding, 100% doing it) has fallen flat with what appears to be a misrepresentation.

It looks like whoever’s behind that account wants to keep the gag order, rather than giving the iconic company that helped launch 3D graphics acceleration a final tip of the hat. My very first dedicated graphics card was a Voodoo product, and like a lot of old school geeks, I really like the 3dfx brand.

So it was intriguing when the @ 3dfxofficial Twitter account popped up out of nowhere, claiming to be back in some form or another and teasing “many exciting announcements” slated for today. And staying in character, the Twitter account put down eight presentation slides this morning to explain why he’s coming back, what products he’s planning to release and other nonsense.

“By mid-July Jansen Products was able to acquire the assets of 3dfx and is in the process of filing the name and some of its new assets, which could take a few weeks to complete,” says one of the slides. “We want to surprise as many people as possible by providing products for the newly acquired 3dfx brand in smartphones, audio systems, graphics cards, devices, hardware and more.”

the 3dfx presentation platform lists half a dozen different products, including a Voodoo 6 PCI graphics card (not PCI Express) and several smart devices, like a 77-inch TV. This will all be revealed at “CEC 2022”, not to be confused with CES 2022, as there is no way it is totally real and not a prolonged hoax would have a typo in its hype announcement. Meet at the CEC.

Another slide breaks down the supposed direction of the product, as it applies to the investments made: 45% for smartphones, smart TVs and home appliances; 45 percent to audio equipment and systems; and only 10 percent to video cards. In total, the slideshow says there will be over 600 new products and over 300 new employees.

The gag is not fooling anyone, as the Twitter thread is already hammered with a series of responses calling for all this ordeal. However, some are taking it all in hand, like the post above asking if future TV products can be used in SLI. All other questions can be directed to jansenproducts at articmail dot com, depending on the final slide.

Our opinion ? Someone harmlessly had fun with this, even though the punchline landed with a thud rather than a comedic bang. Falcon Northwest also played the game comically. The whole situation provided an excuse to remember a bygone era, a time when one could actually to buy a graphics card. That was the time!

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