May the 4th: Celebrate Star Wars by pondering these mysteries

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Granted, there are innumerable little questions from across the franchise, and plenty that deal with the upcoming Episode IX, but we're talking big picture here. The kind of stuff that makes you want to stare at the triple moons of Tatooine in the distance and just wonder.

1. What was Yoda, anyway?

Come on, it's Star Wars. Even the background creatures that flash across the screen for two seconds and are never seen again at full size Wikipedia pages devoted to their taxonomies. But Yoda is just … a frog gremlin with a predilection for the Force? There are more people than Yoda's type that can be found throughout the Star Wars canon, but the species is never given a full name. Weird.

2. Why are the Stormtroopers such bad shots?

This may seem like the oldest joke in the universe, but the Stormtroopers' notable inability to hit anything smaller than the side of the Death Star itself far transcended the original trilogy, in which conflict-oriented shortcomings can be forgiven on the grounds of technology. (Never forget the series 'first lightsaber battle, which is 70% just Obi-Wan and Darth Vader standing around, their two weapons are they're wild snakes.) Anyway, there's a pretty good theory about the Stormtroopers' poor aim that draws on Chirrut Imway's death in "Rogue One." Basically, the theory goes that the Force acts in some way to deflect bullets. Depending on how cynical you are, there's another another name for this phenomenon: plot armor.
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3. We're really cool with the idea that Darth Vader just did not have a dad?

Right, so. Darth Vader, whose name literally means "Dark Father" in German, does not have a dad? His mother Shmi and Jedi master Qui-Gon Jinn just explain this away in "The Phantom Menace" via some Midi-chlorian mumbo-jumbo, and everyone is just fine with the idea that Anakin Skywalker's other parent is essentially a bunch of microscopic beings attracted to the force. Does this happen often on Tatooine? The concept is expanded upon in other Star Wars literature, but still with the same central notion: No dad. By the way, we are talking about prophecy here, virgin births are a pretty big Messianic mean. It's no wonder Qui-Gonn was sure Anakin would be the Chosen One (more on that later).

4. Why did not Darth Vader just force choke anyone who bothered him?

It's established pretty early on that Darth Vader is capable of executing the Sith force choke (he handily dispatches Admiral Motti in "A New Hope"). If you could choke someone with your mind, why would you ever commit murder any way else? It's most likely because lightsabers just look cool. Understandable.

5. What was Han Solo's real name?

In "Solo: A Star Wars Story," it's revealed that Han Solo was not born with that surname, but rather randomly assigned it by an Imperial Navy officer. It's a minor thing, but come on. The man should be fully known. (More, this also means that it is a condition of success, but still has an odd thing to note.) And yes, other characters have not been known, but some, like Rey , ostensibly have last names that have not been revealed yet.
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6. What's up with Snoke?

Ever since he appeared in "The Awakens Force," Supreme Leader Snoke had some serious big bad guy vibes. He has had the same reptilian Emperor Palpatine look, he is quite possibly ancient and deeply understanding the Force, he is the reason Kylo Ren was pushed to the Dark Side, and now he's … dead. Seems like a waste. There are plenty of theories about this one, too, especially that he is actually Darth Plagueis, Emperor Palpatine's mentor who is mentioned in the prequels. However, this has been disproven. The mystery continues. (Gold does it? Oh no, is Snoke Star Wars' Night King?)

7. Who is Rey, really?

This is perhaps the biggest mystery at the forefront of fans' minds going into Episode IX. Is she a Skywalker? A Palpatine? Just some hike from Jakku? If you want to know more about the force-rich bloodline, then sense.

Remember, while some families have been shown to have a propensity for strength abilities, may well be a method of training and recruitment. Who knows.

Also, something to think about, and it could be coincidental: Names mean a lot in the Star Wars universe (again, VADER). You know what Rey means? King, from the Latin regere, meaning to lead or keep straight. Carry on.

8. If the Jedi Prophesy Foretells of a Chosen Who should balance the force, does not that mean the Dark Side should not be destroyed?

According to the prophecy, the Chosen One will bring order to the galaxy by destroying the Sith. But if the Sith is representative of the Dark Side, would not that create a new imbalance in the Force? And if Anakin was the Chosen One, why is the Force so whack in current Star Wars time, with a new Sith order rising under Kylo Ren and the Jedi all but wiped out (or so we think)? Are you going to be in love with each other? Is Disney getting tired of making movies? This is the stuff that keeps us up at night,

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