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Dear Amy, since my son-in-law announced his engagement to an adorable woman, his father and I have been treated like third wheels.
First of all, my son-in-law told his father that he should not bother to show up for the rehearsal dinner, but he told us what part of the rehearsal dinner we could pay .
His mother, "Jocelyn" (the ex-husband of my husband), is in charge of localization and arrangements.
Now married, the couple is expecting a son soon. The parents of the bride are absolutely great and, like us, want a big happy family who loves and supports each other.
Jocelyn comes from a large family of sisters, nieces, nephews and babies. She seems to be determined to reduce the role of her ex in the life of the son and now in the happy gift about to be born.
What his motives will not change how badly I feel for both my husband and myself: because of the harsh blows inflicted by a first alcoholic husband, I have never been able to conceive of anything. ; children.
I had prayed that I could go from everyone's favorite aunt to grandmother as a bonus. My husband is somewhat resigned to his ex's controlling behavior, but we both hope to have a fair quality time with our future little girl.
In the future, the next steps are unclear.
– A lot of love is waiting
Dearest, I can not explain or excuse the behavior of your son-in-law, although if his mother is a bear, she will be even more possessive and possessive during these important moments of life. He obviously chooses the path of least resistance. Your husband too. Good job, guys.
Yes, the next phase of your family's life is not clear. You should enter with an open and enthusiastic attitude. Your new daughter-in-law and her parents seem to be nice people. I guess their relationship with Mama-Bear-in-Law can already be difficult; you should be in front. Become friends with them, include them, invite them to know you better and be a loving, generous and low-pressure "grandmother".
Your husband must find a new way to defend his interests.
Dear Amy, I love your story very much and read it faithfully. Something disturbs me: people have the right to choose the orientation they want (gay, lesbian or other).
What bothers me, is this:
1. Why would a gay (male) couple adopt girls?
2. Why would a lesbian couple adopt boys?
I deeply respect your comments. Thank you.
– Soothes my mind
Dear my mind: This sound you hear is me, gently banging my head against my desk. Fortunately, the volume of mail from the reader provides a good cushion.
I publish your question to illustrate and highlight my own frustration. If you have been such a faithful reader of my work over the years, I hope you have picked up one or two. Obviously, you have not done it, so I will rephrase:
People do not choose their sexual orientation. Their orientation chooses them. People choose how they want to identify themselves in the gender / sexual spectrum.
Your question implies that homosexuals see children as sexual objects. No more (and perhaps less often) than heterosexuals.
Lesbians adopt or give birth to male (and female) children because they want to have and raise children.
Gay men adopt (or have a father by substitution) female (and male) children because they want to have and raise children.
I hope this clarifies things for you.
Dear Amy: "Just a grandmother" reminded me a bit of my mother. My mother will complain that anyone knows anything about her children or grandchildren before her.
I know some people post publicly before notifying their family about important events in their lives, but I think most people still try to make big things special first in private, then in public. If people do not share your things with you, it may be because you do not know when to keep it for you.
My mom is very active on social media and shares things that do not belong to her. Whether they want it or not. It's as if she needed to post to prove to her Facebook friends that she was the matriarch and that she was fully participating in all our lives.
My siblings and I often keep information about ourselves and our children for each other, or between us, to prevent this from being broadcast on social media. .
– Just a girl
Dear girl, Excessive public sharing is a plague that negatively affects relationships. One of the consequences is that it can force people to become too cautious.
(You can contact Amy Dickinson by email at [email protected].) Readers can send a mail to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter. @ askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
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