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AMY: Am I crazy to go after that?
One of my longtime Instagram followers has sent me a PM the other day complimenting me for my photography skills.
We had to talk and he then admitted that he also likes me.
Since then, we have been sending text messages, video chats and sharing our lives through the power of social media.
He lives in Brazil and me in the United States. I am 15 years older than him. I am about to be 46 years old. We get along very well, and he did not do what many guys interested in me did: he did not ask – or sent – nude photos.
He claims to be single and does not seek marriage. He wants to come to the United States to see if he wants to live here permanently.
I thought about opening my house for a few weeks and paying for housing. This could help me because I am between jobs, and it could save on hotel costs.
He will apply for a travel visa. Do you think I should do that?
Woman wondering
Dear wonder: Let's recap: THE OTHER DAY, you met on social media.
Until now, he has demonstrated his princely qualities by not asking nor sending nude photos.
And now, just days after having met virtually, you've somehow uncovered a ploy to bring it home for several weeks.
The first thing to do is to raise the level of what you are entitled to expect from others.
You must also use your own common sense regarding your personal safety.
If you want to earn money by renting a room, sign up for a room rental site and follow the appropriate rental quality check process.
If he wants to visit the United States, he should locate a nearby room rental where he will have to present a credit card, be checked and pay for his accommodations.
If you are determined to rent it specifically, do so through a legitimate rental site, not an informal arrangement with someone you do not know and who may have deliberately asked you to leave Brazil. Imagine an unlimited stay in your home with someone you hate? Once inside, it could be very difficult to get him out.
If you are unemployed, you would be better served by marketing your skills and aligning your next job.
AMY: I always read your column in the morning with my coffee.
My wonderful husband died a few weeks ago. A year before his diagnosis of heart valve disease, he was a sturdy man and needed a replacement, but at age 85, he refused.
This led him to use a cane, a walker, (finally) a wheelchair.
I have tried to continue our activities by helping to get around.
A few weeks before her passing, we were able to spend our 45th wedding anniversary in the beautiful place where we had spent our honeymoon.
Lifting the chair in and out of the car was difficult for me at the age of 76, but he was happy and even offered to try to m & # 39; s help.
Many times and many places we went, I struggled to navigate.
I just want to thank everyone of all ages who came out to help me out when I needed it.
It meant a lot to both of us because having a little help meant we could move.
So to all of you, unknown heroes, thank you very much.
I like to think of you as my guardian angels showing up just when we needed you.
Anonymous in California
DEAR ANONYMOUS: I am happy to publish your beautiful thank you note to all the strangers who have shown you kindness when you needed it.
It is a reminder of the importance of the tenderest mercies of life. It's nice of you to focus on that, even as you have experienced such a huge loss.
AMY: As a transgender woman, I was stunned (if not completely surprised) by the insensitive remarks of "Ease My Mind". I'm glad you pointed out that sexual orientation "chooses" us.
I also believe that identity and gender expression are also intrinsic characteristics. In the end, the decision to live authentically and without bias is our choice.
Homophobic facepalm
DEAR FACEPALM: Amen, sister.
You can contact Amy Dickinson by email at [email protected]. Readers can send a mail to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "love her" on Facebook.
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