Notre Dame and Brian Kelly perfectly happy to kill children again



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By for class with that asshole.

By for class with that asshole.
Photo: Getty

Although many college football programs have traditions of heinous and dangerous behavior, only one school has accepted the death of students as the price to pay for doing business. However, Notre Dame has always stood above all other university programs, even though it lost its place at the top of the industry decades ago, so it’s no wonder it was them. who are willing to go the extra mile in preserving what they hold most dear.

Perhaps no school is better equipped than to keep rolling through and through a football season as the entire campus around it turns into a toxic petri dish. Remember, no change really happened after forcing Declan Sullivan to take a scissor to practice in the movies and this killed him. Brian Kelly thought they had a good practice that day. Their manipulation of Lizzie Seeberg’s rape case, which led to her killing herself, didn’t really make a difference either. Kelly claimed he didn’t make any major decisions and the administration would take care of everything, and proceeded not to even think about putting Prince Shembo on the bench. This is Notre Dame after all, so if you don’t actually put the golden dome on your skull, your life is simply of service to those who do.

With the news that the cases on the Notre Dame campus have nailed to 147 in just a week after class opens, thanks to an off-campus party. Half of the tests taken on Sunday on campus came back positive. You’d think Head Coach Kelly would be a little concerned about the safety of his players, to say the least. Ha, just kidding, you or I never thought Brian Kelly had the least humanity with him, which doesn’t make him much different from any other college coach.

But do not worry, Kelly has a plan! Everyone has a sub, and just like a rash from wounds or falls, the Fighting Irish will only be dealing with whatever happens. The next man, even if the front man is actively coughing up a lung or his heart will be scarred for life. Even if it is a disease that could forever hamper the lives of their players, or even kill them. Just another thing we need to be a team on, in Kelly’s world. How far are we from having replicants for every player and coach in South Bend? Closer than we think, if the faculty of Notre Dame, of course, did not curse the replicants like the devil’s work and throw holy water at them. Also, declaring something of the devil’s work and throwing holy water into it is a 300 level course in ND.

We obviously lost our minds and souls when North Carolina was open for a whole week before realizing that it wasn’t safe to have students around. Unless these students are a cash cow for school. If you’re considered a paying student, they’ll at least wave their arms around to indicate that they care. If the school sees you as an ATM that’s constantly spitting out bills, you can keep practicing, Chumley.

Kelly can go ahead and praise his players for following established protocols and having only two positive tests, but they’ve only been on campus with the rest of the current student body for a week. There will be other parties (and if you’re wondering why anyone would go out of their way to attend a feast of Notre Dame presumably filled with Notre Dame students, which seems as entertaining as eating fingernails? (toe, I have no answer for you other than INDIANA. Besides, Tommy Rees specializes in toenail nourishment). There will be other temptations, other reasons for players to leave their secure area, so to speak. They are children. But apparently it’s okay, because Kelly has a plan.

The only plan that will keep everyone safe is to send everyone home and try everything again at some point in 2021. But what is Notre Dame in the fall without football? Apparently nothing, because they’ve already traded students’ real lives for it. It’s an old hat to old Notre-Dame.

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