Melania Trump did not contact Jill Biden either.

McBride, who noted that Melania Trump sometimes acted or expressed opinions different from her husband’s, said: “This moment is more complicated. Reaching out before he has conceded could be seen as going completely against what the president and the administration are doing. “

The source close to the thought of Melania Trump says that when the time comes to nod, the first lady will comply.

“If the president admits, I’m sure the East Wing will be kind and professional to the new administration, that’s how it works,” the source said.

With each day that passes without a transition, however, the task of preparing the White House for a new first family and relocating the current family becomes more difficult.

“This transition is going to be a tough one, even though Dr Biden knows the White House and is extremely knowledgeable,” said Capricia Penavic Marshall, who served as Hillary Clinton’s special assistant when she was first lady and then as Social Secretary. from the Clinton White House, and is the author of “Protocol: The Power of Diplomacy.”

Marshall was with the Clinton administration in its entirety and is a clear reminder of the importance of keeping a tight schedule for the days between the election and the inauguration.

“To date, there would have been at least one transfer of notes between the current east wing and the team of the first lady-elect, to talk about dates and times and what needs to start happening,” he said. she declared. “There is a timeline to all of this, and what happens now is just going to confuse it.”

Among other things in a to-do list are planning organizational changes, moving trucks, tidying up and literally measuring curtains. Inauguration day is an event choreographed down to the minute, moving one family and installing the next, to storing refrigerators and unpacking a First Lady’s clothes in her dressing room.

McBride was part of the Bush team that was forced to wait for the vote between Bush and Democrat Al Gore to be settled by the Supreme Court.

“We could only start the transition to the White House after December 13,” she said. “It worked. It was frantic, but it worked.”

First Ladies Passing the Torch

For first ladies, the embarrassment of handing over their (temporary) home and staff they’ve come to know and rely on to a new president and first lady isn’t always easy. In particular, there was a well-known freeze between Rosalynn Carter and Nancy Reagan, two women fiercely loyal to their husbands. The transition for Carter and Reagan has not been pleasant.

Rosalynn got even angrier when rumors circulated that Nancy Reagan wanted the Carters to move a few weeks before the inauguration and live in Blair House, across from the White House, so she could start redecorating the rooms. private family quarters, “Kate Andersen Brower wrote in her book,” First Women: The Grace and Power of America’s Modern First Ladies. ”

“Rosalynn said Nancy called her to deny reports that she wanted them out.” I don’t know if she said she was sorry or not, “Rosalynn said.” She just said she didn’t make those statements. “”

Barbara Bush, too, was not happy to move after a term, but she was gracious and insightful when Hillary Clinton arrived in the White House after the election for traditional tea.

“Ms. Bush took Ms. Clinton into the residence and through her dressing room to show her the window she would look through, through the rose garden, to see into the Oval Office,” McBride said, recalling the feel of the visit. “She told him that she would look through whenever she missed George during the day.”

The “secret” window has since been shown to every first lady by her predecessor.

It was not just the first ladies themselves who benefited from kind, helpful and open transitions.

“It’s not just Laura and I, it’s not just President Bush and President Obama, but it’s our staffs,” Michelle Obama said in 2015, as Brower recounts in her book. Obama added, “My chief of staff continues to speak very regularly with Laura’s former chief of staff and it’s that kind of sharing that keeps us from re-creating the wheel, allows us to build on the things that are already working. may the country win as we move from one party to the other. ”

McBride said she invited Obama’s staff to join them at the office for a day or two, so they could work side-by-side and show in person how everything worked.

When Marshall arrived with her team to begin the Clinton administration’s work as Hillary Clinton’s special assistant, she saw nothing of the tension or acrimony the country is currently witnessing between the Trump administration and Biden.

“It was so encouraging,” she said of the Bush East Wing staff behind the scenes. “My predecessors and all around the White House complex left us with bottles of champagne and pretty notes, binders and binders of useful information.”

Tea for two

The traditional welcome of the first lady-elected to the White House has a different meaning from that of the president-elect. For a first lady, albeit archaic, part of her role is to explain how the White House works as a family home.

It’s up to her to give him advice on living there with kids, as Laura Bush and her daughters did for Obama and her daughters, showing them how to wave from the balcony from the Truman Balcony or slide down the hall. sloping near the private cinema.

The image of Melania Trump and Jill Biden enjoying tea this time around, if that day comes, will likely be more scrutinized, given the weeks of bitterness.

“It might be awkward, but this moment will bring a collective sigh of relief to everyone,” McBride said. “This visual of the two guardians of the White House, of the house … will resonate. This image helps alleviate some of the acrimony of politics.”

Even in the most divided races America has seen among presidents, there has remained so far at least a thread of country upon party, and a willingness on one side to help the other find balance. .

“This is what is so beautiful about our country. That moment at the inauguration where one family says to another, ‘Welcome home,’” Marshall said, recalling one of his favorite memories of that day, as the Bushes arrived at White. House to ride with the Clintons heading to the United States Capitol for the swearing-in ceremony.

“Right before they got to their car, they put on their overcoats, and Clinton reached out and pulled Bush’s coat over his shoulder and said, ‘Come on, let’s do this.’ And Bush gave him a smile and a little look that clearly said, “Don’t worry. I have this.” ”