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Kevin Owens started the show off calling Roman Reigns a coward, and that’s what his family must see in him, too.
Well, man. Under the belt. Wild.
(No, not really. Roman Reigns is a perverted jerk.)
Paul Heyman appeared on the tron and said Owens is a masochist and a martyr, ready to do whatever it takes to win the Universal Championship. For this reason, it must be eradicated. Owens went to get Reigns, and Reigns made another path through the arena and entered the ring.
Then an enraged Owens just clambered into the back where Heyman was standing watching Reigns talk on the monitor. Bit strange.
Reigns said he was on his “The Guy” ish and he wants Owens to call him the Tribal Chief and the Chief of his the family table (titled my recap of this feud last week!) and Owens came out and Jey Uso attacked him. Reigns joined in, then later told Jey to take Owens down for good. So Jey smashed a chair against Owens’ back as Adam Pearce and a referee helped him walk down a hallway.
A doctor was watching Owens in a room, then Jey attacked him AGAIN and put him across a table. Reigns came out later and berated Owens for not giving in and Owens came out because you can’t kill this guy.
So Jey and Roman buried him in tables, ladders and chairs. He buried it. Put it through two of those tables too!
And after all of that, Kevin Freakin ‘Owens came out of the rubble, sat in a chair and said he was going to die trying to get the Universal Championship back.
Wheeeeew. Kevin Owens is one of my favorite people on Earth and I was injected with adrenaline. I was a little worried about how the next feud would turn out after the great stuff with Jey, but my worries were gone.
This match is going to be violent. Delicious violence. Let’s go!
Run it back
Sasha is going to have to fight her true instincts to go wild and tear her apart, and she can’t win this fight. Sasha holds her title longer than she has ever been, but she can’t take the pressure. Carmella chose to have champagne and her sommelier was about to deliver it to her, but Sasha’s music hit and he went to the ramp to intervene.
She snuck the attack from behind and the guy tried to pull her away again, and she attacked her again, and Carmella smashed a bottle on her back again.
Everything is going well. I really enjoyed the dynamics here for the most part, and Carmella did some of her best promotional work.
It’s just… you know I can’t help but think that the real version of this would do better than Sasha. I imagine Carmella in a cloud thinking her life is better than everyone else, especially Sasha, then Sasha comes out laughing her ass off as every scene she’s in The Mandalorian plays out on the tron while ‘a huge Disney + graphic flashes on it.
What’s worse, I really can’t stand the stupid babyface syndrome stuff, especially when it happens to the same person back to back. She did the exact same thing last week! The sommelier too! Just like Carmella! Why come back to the same thing and not look smarter than Sasha? Let’s go.
The rest
The Sami Awards – This. Was. Impressive.
A video package played and showed us all the times Zayn has used the noggin to get wins in all of his last matches. He first presented the “Best Comeback of the Year” award and the winner – Sami Zayn! The second prize was that of “Best game of the year”. The winner – Sami Zayn! And finally for “Superstar of the Year”, the winner – Sami Za… uh… Big E!
Big E came out to happily accept the price (which he set for himself before this segment) and thanked his mom. So healthy. Zayn tried to interrupt him but each time E pushed him aside. Zayn pushed him off the mic and said there was a mistake, then E attacked him and broke his Sami award. I loved it all. Let’s put this intercontinental championship on a new scale.
Bayley defeated Bianca Belair – You all. What’s going on? All Bayley did was lose, and Bianca had a winning streak (excluding the Survivor Series of course) and we had to have her? It’s so typical of WWE. Bayley recently lost to Natalya. NATALYA! And Bianca won Natalya’s pinning a few weeks ago. Yes, it wasn’t a net loss, but raking your eyes shouldn’t incapacitate anyone. It’s so much easier to just build this better. They will start over and Bianca will win. WWE doesn’t have to be lazy. You don’t have to accept the crappy lazy reservation from them. I do not want!
Give me all the Billie Kay segments please (Riott Squad defeated Billie Kay and Tamina) – give me that all the time. This is how Billie Kay should be booked. She finds a new partner, the partner does most of the work, she reunites and then loses, the partner gets mad at her and she has to find someone else. Yay for a Riott Squad victory! But yes, please more of that.
Otis defeated Shinsuke Nakamura – Shinsuke Nakamura has fallen out of favor, but I no longer think Nakamura is the Nakamura of old. Well I don’t think so, I know. It’s obvious. Otis won here by making a different move thanks to the guidance of Chad Gable – a suplex and a Vader bomb. Then Gable told him he shouldn’t have made the move he told him to do. It’s starting to get a little weird, so hopefully we get some clarification soon on where this is going.
Street Profits defeated Dolph Ziggler and Bobby Roode – So let’s be realistic. The match was good. It was so generic because that’s all Ziggler, Roode, Dawkins, and Ford have been doing together over the past few weeks. Ziggler and Roode cheat to try to win, Tez plays the endangered babyface, Dawkins gets the hot tag, Tez makes extremely crazy frog splashes and it gets the win or breaks. K. Cool. The most interesting part was after the game when the heels were crying and Charles Robinson stood up in his face and yelled that if they continued they would be suspended.
This was the most interesting part of it all. Bringing things back is WWE’s motus operandi, as we’ve discussed several times in this recap.
All right, all of you. SmackDown is Roman Reigns’ show and it has been very well established. This is a good thing, but also a bad thing, because WWE can do some really great and amazing things when they want to. They… don’t. Like, come on guys. A few good things are sprinkled around, but make these shows as a whole more exciting. Mostly Raw. My God.
Category B-
What are your predictions for TLC, Cagesiders?
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