In 2020, Cam Newton learned he was “a mentally difficult SOB”



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Cam Newton received a pink slip from the Panthers on March 24. He remained in the free agent market for three months before agreeing to the terms of a one-year contract with the Patriots.

The Patriots are 6-8 in his 14 starts this season, and he has 12 rushing touchdowns and just five passing touchdowns. He would become the first main starter since the AFL-NFL merger in 1970 to end a season with more rushed touchdowns than touchdown passes.

But Newton learned something about himself during a difficult season that included missing a game with COVID-19.

“I’m a mentally picky SOB, bruh,” Newton said Thursday, via WEEI’s Ryan Hannable.

Newton, who will earn just under $ 4 million this season, could start his final game for the Patriots on Sunday.

He is expected to become a free agent in March. It’s unclear if the Patriots want him to come back or if he wants to come back.

“The injuries, yes, it was difficult to overcome. Late free agency, yes, it was difficult. COVID, you mentioned it. And even success is all you look back on and sort of, “Yeah, that could’ve been better,” Newton said. The only one for me are my children. They are my children. It’s like any father, any mother who is on that call right now to go without talking to your kids or your family. That was – that’s it, you know what I’m saying? Because I’m going to say it like this: And I’m honest, right? I have had two birthdays that I haven’t seen. My son Chosen’s birthday was Christmas Eve. I couldn’t see it with him. My son Cashmere’s birthday was September 30, and I couldn’t see it too. Cashmere just turned 1, so that was a big deal for him. Choisi has just turned 5. So – and even more or less, not to see the first steps of my children.

“Like, all of these things. Being unemployed for 86 nights, yes, it’s tough. Having injuries, yes, it’s hard. Going through this season, you can kind of guess how big the major media market is Boston or Foxboro, New England, whatever you want to call it. The slander that lives up to TB12 expectations. Yeah, this is all hard. You hear it. None of this is even a second of not being able to see your children. Only that. You miss the first steps of your children. You are not there for Christmas. You are not there for birthdays.

“And on top of that, are you bad?” Ah, man. And from someone already emotional? And I don’t even want to talk to people on a regular day, let alone when things are going well. But I learned that through it all, you only have your faith in God, your faith in yourself. And that’s about it. I really relied on understanding to try to find something to build on. It didn’t matter if it was a “Well, that was incomplete”. And you can think of it as – I don’t care what you think – for me, I’m optimistic through it all, and I’ve learned to be optimistic especially through these trials and tribulations because sometimes during that year, it was like, ‘God. What is that? What are you doing? What are you trying to tell me? Like, what am I not doing? And yes, having to wake up at a certain number of times and leave the facility a certain number of times without having the success you want to have, it teaches you resilience. It teaches you patience. It teaches you to have faith and to understand that, listen, sooner or later you’re going to take a break. I’m not looking for documents.

“It’s just more or less for me to say, ‘Bruh, damn. Finally.’ Right? And 2020, man I’m about to sign, seal. I’m about to tie this year, tie a big knot in it. I can buy every lock and key and throw it all away. I don’t want to see any part of 2020, but it has made me a better person. I believe that. And that’s something, being a part of that franchise is something that you don’t wash away that stench, that aura of being a patriot. It’s something that’s inside of you. Being around arguably the greatest trainer of all time and watching him from afar, because obviously my way of life is maybe not like his ways of living. He wears jeans and a bubble coat or Patriots clothes every day. And meanwhile I’m Polo at the bottom, Moncler at the bottom, you know what I’m saying? Meshika hat, shades. It’s just my steez. I’m like, this cold, I never got to wear this jacket. Boom. To wear it. And that still teaches you different methods of production and production in this league. And I will never forget that.

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