Jessica Simpson Offers Sympathies For Subway Tuna Confusion

Subway: the fast food chain that is still legally allowed to call its sandwich casings “bread” in an overwhelming majority of countries– found himself in a new legal / PR quagmire this week, when a new lawsuit alleged that the “tuna” in his beloved tuna salad sandwiches, uh, was not. Filed in Northern California, the complaint alleges that the “tuna” that oozes out of your delicious footlong tuna salad sandwich is, rather than that particular tasty species of fish, a “mix of various preparations that do not constitute tuna, but which were mixed together by the defendants to mimic the appearance of tuna “and, more damning, are alleged” not to be fish ” according to the comments of the complainants in the case to The Washington Post.

Subway has, of course, denied that the “various concoctions” in their sandwiches are anything other than cooked tuna mixed with mayonnaise, but, obviously, we’re already pretty firmly in “let’s deny the bastards” territory here. Once someone has raised the possibility that one of your delicious food sludge might not be what you say – and the general public is forced to really think about what could to be in there – the battle for hearts, minds and stomachs is pretty much already lost.

Subway has at least one advocate in her corner: Jessica Simpson, who – in a line that’s not only funnier than almost every line of dialogue in any Jessica Simpson movie, but everything we, personally, thought in about a year – referenced it own infamous difficulties in identifying tuna with a solidarity tweet for the sandwich chain.

Absolutely brutal.