Elon Musk buys everything Austin, dubbing himself iron mayor: Abbott closes deal with new leader – News

Proclaiming “the end of a century of frustration and a great day for Texas schoolchildren,” Gov. Greg Abbott signed today (Thursday April 1) Senate Bill 3236, authorizing the purchase of the entire city of Austin, with the exception of the Capitol complex and the University of Texas campus, by Technoking zone Elon musk, now also bear the title of “Iron Mayor”.

The sale price of the new city-state remains unknown, but it is believed to represent only a small fraction of Musk’s $ 164 billion fortune, which for some time earlier this year made him richest man of all time. The state will continue to access its seat of government and flagship university through a narrow corridor along Enfield Road, through Red Bud Isle and into the town of West Lake Hills, which, once it approves the annexation of the property – posted on its Council’s consent agenda for next week – will become the state’s new capital.

Attempts by major Texas newspapers to force disclosure of the terms of the sale were consistently rejected by the Texas attorney general. Ken paxton, who during an appearance on the One America News Network described Musk’s purchase of Austin as “fake news” even as OANN was broadcasting the signing ceremony live. The windfall for the cash-strapped state was earmarked for an endowment that the comptroller Glenn hegar Said is expected to generate enough income in perpetuity to fund Texas public education, although he expressed some uncertainty about how best to handle the amount paid in cryptocurrency. “I don’t even know what ‘Dogecoinam I saying right? “, said Hegar.” But I guess I don’t have to. Either way, that’s a lot. “

“This bold move guarantees a bright future for our state while getting rid of our most annoying constituents,” Abbott said at the signing ceremony, as he adjusted his chair to keep Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick | and land commissioner George P. Bush out of range of the camera. “Texas has always championed the proposition that partnering with private companies offers the best path to prosperity for all of our licensed, law-abiding English speaking citizens who own and own firearms.”

Appearing by hologram, Musk – dressed in an iron suit and seated in the bed of a Tesla Gigatruck, with his wife Claire “Grimes” Boucher and princeling X Æ A-Xii at his feet – offered cryptic remarks, including, “If there’s ever a scandal about me, please call it ‘lying down, ‘”and,”Aspirationally acerbic alliteration -> Bullshit confuses brains. He declined to answer reporters’ questions, saying he would say more about his future plans for Austin at an event on the social platform. Flag, where he would be joined by Kanye west.

“This bold move guarantees a bright future for our state while getting rid of our most annoying voters.” – Governor Greg Abbott at an April 1 signing ceremony passing City of Austin property to Technoking Elon Musk

Musk’s surprise offer met little resistance from members of the Texas Legislature, who quickly approved the measure by voice vote in both chambers, with only the senator. Sarah eckhardt, D-Austin and five Austin-based Texas House members indicating their opposition for the record. “I firmly believe that the people of Travis County and the state of Texas both deserve a better deal than the one offered by Elon Musk,” Eckhardt said, avoiding the movers sent by Patrick to box his office and kick him out. of the Capitol before dark. “I know we will look back and regret this missed opportunity.”

Other leaders expressed a more positive view, noting that Musk’s decision also frees Austinites from the often oppressive interventions of Abbott and the Texas legislature. “Hey, we definitely could have done worse,” said current mayor Pro Tem Natasha Harper-Madison. “I mean, Elon Musk is weird, but so is Greg Abbott! As long as he doesn’t turn around and sell to Amazon or Facebook, we could probably do this job.”

Current Mayor of Austin Steve adler, reached on the way to Cabo San Lucas for a meeting with the US Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg and his Mexican counterpart, also expressed nuanced optimism. “Running a city like Austin can be a daunting puzzle,” he told the the Chronicle. “Our residents expect their leaders to be innovative, to look for new ways to provide service and to maintain what makes Austin unique. Many of my friends say Austin needs a strong mayor anyway, so i don’t think being run by a technoking iron mayor who plans to live on mars is really out of our mark. I’m willing to spend a lot of time finding ever more complicated solutions that offer little potential to make everyone happy, if that’s what they want. Or I can do something else. “

Observing that Musk has not ruled out seeking admission of his new estate as a separate US state, the Chairman of the Texas Democratic Party Gilberto Hinojosa says, “Two more blue senators, baby!” In the past, Musk has described himself as “half Democrat, half Republican” and he has offered to implement direct democracy on the model of ancient Athens in his future Martian colony. However, he also didn’t rule out declaring Austin an independent nation with him as his autocrat; if so, he would become a citizen of four different countries, as well as of Mars.

A coalition of community activists opposed to Musk’s takeover staged a “We are not for sale!” car parade to be held this Saturday at the Southeast Austin site of the new Tesla Gigafactory; participants are encouraged to “honk loudly” as they pass the site at 80 km / h along State Highway 130. Circuit of the Americas owner Bobby epstein made no comment when asked about rumors he was funding the fledgling anti-Musk resistance, but encouraged protesters to gather at his daring stadium afterwards for the rugby match scheduled for Saturday.