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Chrissy Teigen has shared with her Instagram followers how she struggled to come to terms with the loss of her third child, Jack, on Sunday.
The model, 35, broke the heartbreaking news that she lost her son Jack when she was 20 weeks in office due to multiple complications in October of last year.
Chrissy, who decided to take the tee-total a month after her loss, admitted she “hadn’t dealt with” her baby’s death and had run out of alcohol to “numb the pain. “.
Reflection: Chrissy Teigen shared with her Instagram followers how she struggled to come to terms with the loss of her third child, Jack, on Sunday (pictured with husband John Legend)
In a photo accompanying the heartfelt message, Chrissy got closer to her husband John Legend, 42, as they laughed in a booth at New York restaurant Franks.
Chrissy recalled how she and John have been restaurant customers for “maybe 13, 14 years now” because they “lived a few blocks away” in the Big Apple.
During the post, she also detailed her complicated relationship with alcohol during this period of her life: “I was sitting there with my multiple double vodka sodas and getting drunk all day (this n ‘not bragging about lol I was basically a functional alcoholic) then buy hats that I didn’t like or need, ”she wrote.
‘Deep pain’: The model broke the heartbreaking news that she lost her son Jack when she was 20 weeks in office due to multiple complications in October last year
Chrissy continued: ‘[I’ve] i just remember New York a lot lately when things were simple, thinking about all i have done and been through not only this year but in my life.
She admitted, “I’ve been down slightly lately. It kind of started when I thought about the caption for my book and typed “my third baby is here!” Like in a cookbook and then I realized my third baby will never be here. .
“Then I realized that I threw myself into the book so as not to think about the real third baby. I don’t really feel like I’ve completely treated Jack and now that I don’t have the alcohol to numb him things are just… there, waiting to be acknowledged.
“I guess what I’m saying here is that life is so complicated. and have the lasagna ??? wow it was a roller coaster !!!!! ‘
Chrissy recently said that by writing her third cookbook Cravings “literally saved her” and helped her cope with loss.
“Things are just waiting to be recognized”: Chrissy revealed that she realized that she had devoted all of her energy to writing her third cookbook and that she had not fully processed the tragic loss of baby Jack
But reflecting on the process over the weekend, she revealed, “I realized I threw myself into the book so as not to think about the real third baby. I didn’t really feel like I had fully processed. Jack and now that I don’t have the alcohol to numb him, things are just… there, waiting to be recognized.
“I guess what I’m saying here is that life is so complicated,” admitted Chrissy.
Chrissy announced the heartbreaking loss of her third child on Instagram in October last year, telling her followers at the time that she was in “the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain that we have never felt before ”.
She explained, “We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough. ‘
“We never decide on the names of our babies until the last possible moment after birth, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started calling this little guy in my stomach Jack. So he will always be Jack for us. Jack has worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be forever, ”she cried.
Forever Jack: Chrissy announced the heartbreaking loss of her third child on Instagram telling her followers that she was in “the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt previously”
Chrissy – who has children Luna, four, and Miles, two, announced her decision to quit drinking a month later.
She told her followers at the time, “I was done making fun of myself in front of people (I’m still embarrassed), tired of drinking all day and feeling like shit at 6, of not being able to sleep. ‘
Chrissy has been open about her relationship with alcohol in the past. In a 2017 interview with Cosmopolitan, she said: “I was, at close range, drinking too much.
“I got used to having my hair done, make-up and drinking a glass of wine. Then that glass of wine would be passed on to me before the awards show … And then a bunch at the awards show.
She continued, “And then I felt bad for making fun of myself to people I really respected.
“And this feeling, there is nothing like it. You feel awful. It’s not good for me, for John, for anyone.
Family: Chrissy – who has children Luna, four, and Miles, two, with John became a tee-total in November last year, a month after his tragic loss
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