[ad_1]
Dear Amy: I was in an exclusive monogamous relationship with a man for eight months and unfortunately kept surprising him using dating apps even after drawing a hard line on it.
He also lied to me about drug addiction (he was in AA for years but kept falling off the wagon). He told me he was a social drinker and was just taking a break from alcohol for health and fitness reasons.
He would turn dark and lose communication, then turn to me when I asked him why. So finally, after a week of being particularly inconsiderate and insensitive, I broke our relationship.
I did it with honor and said goodbye to his friends and family and didn’t say a mean word to anyone about him.
Now he wants to go for a couple consultation, even though when I was with him he refused to listen to me even on the simplest things like removing his dating apps.
I don’t know why he wants to go for a consultation now that he has completely rejected me.
I don’t even know how I feel about it anymore.
Part of me still really loves him, but part of me doesn’t trust the relationship (or our “situation”) because he kept a separate list of rules for himself than for me.
I would really like your take on this.
– curious
Dear Curious: I agree with you that the deletion must take place. You have to delete and what you have to lose is him.
From what you say about this person, you obviously don’t like, trust or respect them.
You felt good about the way you ended it, but if you allow him to bring you back, you won’t even get that.
Consulting is a great idea, especially for him. If he wants to go into therapy to understand how and why he sabotaged the relationship with you then let him and maybe at some point in the future he will be inspired to try and prove to you that he has changed. . I hope by then you will have moved on.
Dear Amy: Unfortunately, I moved away from my family after my mother died.
My dad decided to go out with my brother’s stepmom (his wife’s mom), whom my mom hated.
Everything shattered after that.
My father turned 60 this year and I will soon be 33. It has been about five years since I saw or heard anything from him.
When the pandemic started, I texted him to make sure he was okay and got nothing in return. Honestly, I’m worried that something will happen to him before we can at least talk.
It would destroy me if anything happened to him. I really enjoy my life better when they’re not around, yet I worry and miss them. I know my brother and sister in law still hate me (no surprise about that) but honestly I’m so confused and hurt as to why my dad didn’t even try to contact me in any way. that is.
Should I try again?
– Distant girl
Dear girl, texting at the start of a global pandemic is not an effort to cure a breech you seem to have initiated.
Losing your mother at a relatively young age must have been truly devastating for you. Surely it was deeply upsetting to see your dad entering into a new relationship with someone you claim your mom didn’t like.
However, it is your burden to bear. Your father has the right to find a new partner. It was not your brother or his wife’s fault or responsibility that your father took on with this woman.
If you want to talk to your dad, call him. If he doesn’t pick up, leave a warm message and ask him to call you back. If he doesn’t call you back, call a second time.
Express your desire to be in touch and leave the door open to reconciliation.
Dear Amy: I am a regular reader and wonder if you ever – even once – admitted that you got something wrong?
When people criticize you, you are just doubling down and defending your position.
– Sick and tired
Dear Patient: I admit when I’m wrong, and I’m happy to let readers correct me.
However, I won’t claim an error just because someone disagrees with me.
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.
[ad_2]
Source link