Absolver developers announce Kung Fu Beat ‘Em Up Sifu



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After Absolver’s elegant multiplayer sandbox combat, the developers of Sloclap have announced a return to fistuffs. Their next game is Sifu, a beat ’em up inspired by “kung fu movie classics”, starring a young college student seeking revenge for the murder of his family. He’ll hit and fight his way through a city in style, as you can see in the trailer below.

It’s hard not to think of Old Boy with that hallway rumble. This revenge tale takes place in a fictional Chinese town, slaughtering bad guys in locations ranging from dark streets to corporate towers. And yes, I’m up for more Sloclap fists.

Our boy Brendy called Absolver one of the best fighting games and that’s good. Part of the joy of Absolver was building your own moveset, switching between positions, and falling into a cheeky slap as you learned new moves. Sifu’s announcement says players will “unlock unique skills” although I suspect they would do a lot more if Sifu had Abosolver-esque complexity. That’s good, wit, it’s not like Sifu is a sequel.

It is also not known what happens with this magical amulet that revives and ages you. “The cost of magic is expensive, however, and you will age considerably each time you come back to life: time is the price you will pay for your revenge,” the ad reads. But if it affects anything beyond your appearance, I couldn’t tell you. The game was just announced, you know. I can only hope that if you reach the age of Pai Mei, you too can suck your genitals inside with such force that not only are the attackers unable to kick you in the cock , but their foot gets stuck if they try.

Sifu is slated to launch this fall on the Epic Games Store. It will also be on PS5 and PS4.

I’m not a kung fu movie buff, but I enjoyed a host of old Shaw Brothers movies. I still think Return To The 36th Chamber has the best vanity for a sequel ever. The first movie is serious business about a legendary monk, then Return is more comical as the same actor plays a crook posing as that monk. Lots of fun using the deception to simulate kung fu, until he turns on him and has to go to Shaolin Temple to learn the real deal from the big man. Delicious.

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