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The story of Tuesday's university admissions scandal contained a bit of everything a late guest could ask for: accusations of corruption and fraudulent attempts, a reference to the film of the '90s and, of course, aunt Becky. And Stephen Colbert was ready.
"Do you know how conspiracy theorists say that everything is rigged for the rich and the famous?" Colbert said. "Well, as a rich and famous person, let me just say," You're absolutely right. "
The comedian used the opening monologue of his late-night show Tuesday to make fun of the Justice Department case, which accused 50 people of a multi-million dollar bribery scheme aimed at schools such as Yale University, Stanford University and the University of Southern California. .
The first clue that informed the FBI, said the comic, was a developmental question about the college's candidacy.
1. Reflect on an achievement that has resulted in personal development and / or your parent's credit card number What motivated your choice What is the 3-digit security code? "
The FBI was also a source of humor. Agency officials described the alleged parents involved in the corruption ploy as "a catalog of wealth and privileges."
"I get this once a month from Anthropology," Colbert joked, referring to the retailer.
Then there was the name of the spur: Operation Varsity Blues.
"Named, of course," said Colbert, "for the scandal in which James Van Der Beek, 22, attempted to cheat us into thinking he was in high school." Back to the creek, Dawson . "(Van Der Beek would have his own jokes about the reference.)
After a brief description of the university consultant, William "Rick" Singer, who, according to federal authorities, orchestrated the scheme, the night host visited the celebrities.
The first was the actress Felicity Huffman, married to the actor William H. Macy.
"Celebrity nickname of course, Filliam H. Muffman."
When he next evoked Lori Loughlin, who played Aunt Becky in the TV show Full House, the audience reacted with a distressing surprise.
"I know it's shocking but it's not new," Colbert said. "I mean in the '90s, Loughlin was part of a notorious ploy in which they made a pair of twins believe to be one person."
"Nobody knew, nobody knew, millions of dollars were stolen."
[Loughlin has been embroiled in an alleged school admissions scam before — on ‘Full House’]
Finally, Colbert examined how the alleged fraudsters created the impression that some students were sports recruits, which included photoshopping the face of a future student on an athlete's photo.
"A candidate for Stanford," Colbert joked, "said he played the role of shooting guard in" Space Jam "."
Students would also have received test responses or a substitute would have passed the exam for them.
"Very good, kids, before the test drops, knock yourself out, started the comedian, starting with the 40-year-old bearded man." Your name?
"Tiffany Parker," says Colbert in a more serious voice.
Between the jokes, Colbert slipped into a serious comment: suspects may have stolen other people's opportunities, and they would have committed tax evasion by taking tax deductions for donating to the charitable misconception that paid the bribes.
But there was good to come out of the scandal, said Colbert.
"Donald Trump is not involved," said the president's longtime critic. "Somehow refreshing in a horrible way."
Devlin Barrett and Matt Zapotosky contributed to this report.
Read more:
Before Lori Loughlin's so-called fraud scandal, her daughter Olivia Jade turned USC into a YouTube brand
From "master coach" to a corruption investigation: a university consultant who derailed
Actors, designers, distillery owners: here are some of those charged in the college admissions scheme
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