An Inverted Project of the NFL 2019, Where Players Choose Their Teams

The NFL project, like most things in football, has everything back. In any other job, the most successful people outside of college or vocational schools would have their choice of potential offers. They would choose the one that would suit them best based on salary, location, benefits and other intangibles such as family closeness, culture and number of locations Whataburger located a short drive from the office.

The latter is not exact. Eat a chicken and honey butter biscuit for breakfast. Seven hours later and five hand washes later, your hands will stay behind the wheel. Whataburger is so very tangible – maybe as well tangible sometimes. This may not seem relevant for a discussion on the draft NFL, but I assure you this is the case.

College football beats it by half. Recruits can sort the offers, but technically only receive compensation for a free education for their work. For example, they might attend the practice after going to philosophy, where they would encounter the liar paradox. A version of this classic logic paradox would be this sentence: I am a liar, so trust me when I say that no one has ever paid a college football player under the table to go to their school.

After three or four years of college education that ruined their professional situation, professional football then slammed the other half of the equation for the players. The players are really paid this time – an improvement! – but on the contrary lose their ability to choose their first employer outside the college. If a player wants to play professional American football at the highest level, he has to do it in the NFL. And if they want to play in the NFL, they have to go into the repêchage, where teams pick them, not the other way around.

When we talk about the NFL Draft, this dynamic is like talking about "what the Jets need" and not "what the player needs, which in all likelihood does not play for the Jets, something that very few players in the history of the NFL have ever needed or wanted. Nobody likes Jets as a business, or even their owner. (Perhaps especially the property, now that I think about it.)

Players, in a perfect world, should be able to choose. If the top 15 players did it for the 2019 project, we could talk about their decision process, something like that.

A Texan quarterback of slightly below average size, undeniable talent at the arm and origins of an air raid, needs several things. He will need a coach able to work with his talents and not against his literal and figurative flaws. He will need a low-stakes franchise where success is measured not in the championships, but perhaps in terms like "I went to the Super Bowl once, and it was pretty awesome, and no, we will not talk about the progress of the game! "

He will need time and patience. A lack of painstaking media interest until he got his feet in the water as input would be nice too. A place to pretend until he succeeds, or sign with a better franchise after accumulating big offensive numbers for an entertaining but cursed 6-10 team. A place to show its potential, but not sell it completely for a lost franchise cause.

He is also from Allen, Texas. To achieve optimum performance, our man will need the aforementioned Whataburger availability, inflamed temperatures, a desolate landscape to feel at home and access to the best chain restaurants in America. There is really only one choice here: where he is most likely to go in the NFL draft in 2019.

Sign with: Arizona Cardinals

Status is generally accepted as a hit in the first round for a team that desperately needs an armory. I've spent a lot of time in Ohio cursed, and I probably want some sun after all that time permacloud. Love President Donald Trump; hate Beyonce and Black Panther. Shaken a headband and long hair. Probably need a city with a dumbbell gym, while preferring a state without income tax or pretense of social services.

It's either Texas or Florida, and that's where we need to refine. Houston is out, Beyonce will not let him live there. (She has that power.) Dallas has ice storms from time to time. Having no tattoo, Miami's dolphins – and living again in South Florida in general – are excluded from the board of directors.

This leaves Tampa and Jacksonville. The lack of tattoos, the obvious taste for death metal and Bosa's huge but lean physique eliminate Tampa. (Cuban food = at least three carbohydrates per meal, an advantage for lean people.) Jacksonville has fresh fish, which Bosa eats slabs, and a professional football franchise that almost made the Super Bowl two years ago. It's still happened in real life!

Sign with: Jacksonville Jaguars

Let me just say this: Josh Allen was brilliant in the darkness in Kentucky, brighter than even his high index of draft water suggests. He was everywhere, so present all over Kentucky did well that you can tell us anything of his time there and I would believe you. Tell me, he played in tight play for five games and caught seven touchdowns. Could be true. Would not even see the movie.

He is adorable even after graduating from high school in Alabama. (It's still something in the 2010s.) I want him to succeed. Success requires comfort and it requires a certain degree of familiarity.

So: Allen needs a team in which he can shine in the dark and open the way in a catastrophic football pit. At college, Josh Allen rushed 500 yards from Kentucky's dismal football to a clean 10-3 season on the other side. The NFL has nothing to do with this trip.

Except: the bills.

Oh my God, the Bills still exist and I want Allen to be happy, and it seems to me that being a happy football player in Buffalo is a kind of very low probability event. .

Again, I would say the same thing for Kentucky and Allen prospered there. Maybe he can not be broken, this man. Maybe be the light in the dim light is his destiny. Perhaps, with the Bills stating that they would consider taking a defensive lineman in the first round, Allen is the spiritual leader of this team – no, this city must lead them to the promised land.

Or you could just go rich and shirtless for five years in Miami. It seems a lot easier.

Sign with: Miami Dolphins

Still calls her grandmother "Mrs. Henderson. Is nicknamed "Big Baby" and still has braces. Had this moment with the media before the match in Oklahoma.

Williams is a fluid killing machine on the field – a big, cuddly and very shy killing machine. I want him to go to a very sweet place, who likes very soft defensive games. I also want him two hours away from his family because, despite all the film where he seems to have teleported by two teams as a 300-pound noseguard, he still has splints.

Atlanta is three hours and 55 minutes from Tuscaloosa. Nashville is three hours and 52 minutes from the hometown of Williams.

Sign with: Tennessee Titans

Nobody really knows what to do with the first quarter in the draft.

As someone who has watched a lot in college, I will sincerely try to help him.

The only thing I know about Haskins: he already knows it's very smart to get the ball quickly and then let it do the work. This sounds fundamental, but many quarterbacks never learn this. This refusal to learn the value of an audit can be a great experience: see Rex Grossman, RGIII in college, or even Russell Wilson, an accomplished chuck-and-ducker with tremendous efficiency in college.

Haskins can throw a beautiful deep ball. He also wisely let the dead leaves rot on the grass as natural fertilizer instead of sweeping them off, and he puts on his clothes for the next day in advance. I am becoming a smarter job, not even harder.

At this point: Haskins was calling audible for smart cards in high school. So, if anyone could place him at QB Giants and ask him to do a hundred short passes at Saquon Barkley in the apartment, that would be great.

It is ideal for more than one reason. The sometimes miserable life of a New York footballer is fine: Haskins first enlisted in Maryland, then in the state of Ohio. Quality of life is obviously not a major concern, nor is good weather or the cost of living. Haskins is doing well on the train and eating hot-pressed sandwiches that will last a lifetime.

Giants fans would not even have to adapt to new flaws. Eli Manning has slow feet? Well, the big blow on Haskins is slow, too. This is not a fault, Giants fans. It's the tradition.

Sign with: New York Giants

Jawann Taylor, offensive tackle

An offensive, big and nasty online player who dropped a bag during his career in Florida. Zero buzz because he's a lineman and he played most of those defeats for Gators teams stuck in rebuilding or demolishing mode. In a normal project where teams choose, Bill Belichick would have it in the third round for two 2009 fourth-round picks and $ 17 US, because the Patriots are smart and very few other teams.

From what we know about him in a scenario where he had to choose his own team, Jawann Taylor does not care much and just wants to take the shortest distance between him and destroy linemen defensive.

The closest franchise to Gainesville is the Jaguars. Taylor can be on the training ground in Jacksonville for one hour and 45 seconds with traffic. It will be because I tell you that he is on the way for the moment. You must be prepared and do not forget your mouthpiece.

Sign with: Jacksonville Jaguars

I just spent a lot of time in the lovely little town of Starkville, Mississippi.

Sign with: A team in a big city

Expect. Which one are we talking about here?

Sign with: ALL

Oliver's family is from Houston. He grew up in Houston. A five-star rookie coming out of high school, Oliver turned down larger program bids to become the first five-star rookie to play football at the University of Houston.

At this point in his life, Oliver might want to look outside Texas. Embrace change, expand horizons. Go somewhere where J.J. Watt will not steal the show on the line of defense, or maybe in a place where the average humidity is not 75%. If you think I'm dialing that number, I'm not. Houston is both a city and a kind of stew.

Again, there is this:

Oliver would never voluntarily leave Texas for work. And in this project, he does not have to do it.

Sign with: Houston Texans

Already has a Tennessee walking horse.

Sign with: Tennessee Titans

Need a franchise that will include a quarterback with a good arm, a fearless attitude and the occasional need to throw a perfect ball screaming in the hands of someone from the other team. Is listed as "J.D. McCoy "in the phones of his teammates.Might use some relatively exotic weather after a lifetime in Missouri.

Note: "Relatively exotic."

Sign with: Dallas Cowboys

Listen: most of them will end with the suggestion of someone who goes to a warm place where he can be young, wealthy and comfortable.

This is not one of them. Devin Bush runs along the line of scrimmage like a crab at the beach, shooting the angel 's ass to get away from a seagull. He is smart and terribly talented for the recognition of the game. He needs someone who will take this already terribly good football crab and turn it into a mind-blowing megafootball crab.

In fact, they do not even need a linebacker, but there is only one place to send it to become the most intelligent mishap machine possible. Yes, the most miserable and successful place in the NFL. But maybe he does not want to be cold and be miserable. Bush went to Michigan. The cold and sometimes miserable places full of nerds do not deter Bush in the least.

Sign with: New England Patriots

Hailing from Iowa, the law requires him to settle in Chicago after graduating.

Sign with: Chicago Bears

He went to high school in a small preparatory school in New England, then to Clemson, where he learned that cold was an absolute choice in this life. This choice generally goes in one direction: cold climate with hot climate, and very rarely in reverse order. Wilkins is also notoriously frugal and known for his outings with his teammates in order to save money. *

* In reality true!

It means signing with a team in a warm, walkable place, with an affordable cost of living, and the need for a defensive lineman to do it all. That does not describe anywhere in the United States, a country so smart that its cold cities demand to walk and that its warm cities almost require sitting in smoking cars for 45 minutes to be able to go anywhere. Were you supposed to know about the failure of US transit planning? No, but here we are, is not it?

There is a pretty warm town, which has a very good walking score, which is at least more affordable than its incredibly expensive neighbor on the other side of the bay, and who loves the athletes who involve them strong in the associative life.

Sign with: Oakland Raiders

Metcalf can run faster in a straight line than any DB covering it. It is the overpowering master car of available receivers – up to the high price, the lack of adequate brakes and the complete inability to spin fast. He needs an able and willing offensive spirit to give him the ball on huge roads and easy turns. He needs someone who can do it creatively. He needs a quarterback to throw the ball 60 yards as if he managed a three-yard check-out.

Does anyone know a team capable of doing it –

A collage of Jon Bois

Tyreek Hill and Metcalf run through the back wall of the stadium 11 or 12 times per game and leave holes in the form of silhouettes in the shape of cartoon silhouettes look lovely to me.

Sign with: Kansas City Chiefs

Everyone may remember Ferrell defensive lineman for collecting 11.5 sacks and 20 tackles in the Clemson title defeat in 2018. They may remember that, or the remix of Suge Knight's speech with teammate Christian Wilkins during the championship game.

Anyway, it is memorable and now has to go somewhere on the west coast for brand reasons.

Wilkins already taking advantage of Oakland to wander, placing Ferrell somewhere in Los Angeles makes sense only as a remaining member of an iconic duo affiliated with the West Coast. He is also from Richmond, Virginia. Just in case Ferrell wants a city that is exactly the opposite of Richmond, it would be Los Angeles.

The Rams could not be the choice. To place him on the same defensive line as Aaron Donald would be excessive, too, a nauseating combination of power and speed. No one with any taste or proportion would do that in a football league, let alone in the decent and respectful ranks of the National Football League.

I have no taste or sense of proportion.

Sign with: LA Rams