HIV | "Why do not I fear my boyfriend is infected with the virus" | Technology and science | Science

Max is HIV positive, Alex is not. They started dating two years ago, just after Max knew he was living with HIV.

Both participated in a major study on the transmissibility of the virus, which showed that an HIV-positive person who had been treated effectively could not transmit the virus during badual intercourse.

The couple told its story to BBC Radio 5 in the hope that it will inspire more people to get tested and eliminate some of the stigma that still exists.

The story of Max

"I was 24 when I discovered that I was HIV positive. It was a shock, a punch in the stomach. When they told me, I started crying. I did not know what to do. Should I go back to work or take a break in my life? Do I have to tell someone? How am I going to find a boyfriend now?

The nurse at the clinic where they gave me the results even hugged me and said: "Do not worry, everything will be fine".

As I was doing the test regularly, I discovered it very early and it was good news because the sooner the treatment starts, the better it is.

Anti-HIV drugs work in reduce the amount of virus in the blood at undetectable levels. This means that the virus can not be transmitted during bad, even without a condom.

Taking the medications I need is something quite simple:I only need one pill a day at dinner time. Patients with type 1 diabetes require four or five injections a day.

Being HIV-positive has cost me more mentally than physically: the anxiety I feel when I have to talk about my illness to other people.

My diagnosis has been announced to my closest friends and family. Most of them responded wonderfully, but not all of them supported me.

A friend, a kind of mentor for me, said: "Frankly, I would not seek and have bad with an HIV-positive person. I would always stay with the question of whether or not they take their meds. "

I had the impression of labeling HIV-positive people as "reckless" and himself as "responsible" for avoiding contact with people like me.

This vision emerged in the 1980s when HIV was considered a personal failure or a death sentence. People still badociate HIV with these funeral images on television or with Princess Diana hugging people with AIDS in the hospital.

Many then refused to touch HIV-positive people and many more to have intimate contact. But today, those of us living with HIV can expect to live as much as any other person.

My mentor's reaction really touched me. I started having panic attacks. I had never experienced them before, but I could not breathe. I could not even go outside.

I met Alex shortly after learning that he was living with HIV. We were both academics and interested in issues of gender and baduality. A bond is born. He already knew that I was HIV positive, so it was not something I had to mention.

I do not know when we stop using condoms during badual intercourse. I did not see him anxious, but I was worried that he would feel compelled not to use a condom to make me feel better.

Last year, we participated in the Partner study, which overwhelmingly demonstrated that HIV-positive people can have bad without a condom and do not transmit the virus if they take the appropriate treatment.

I think that if more people knew it, there would be much less fear or stigma about HIV and no one would have any qualms about being tested. "

How HIV treatment works

• HIV is treated with antiretroviral drugs, which stop replication of the virus.

• Next, the amount of virus in the blood is measured to evaluate the effectiveness of the treatment.

• It can take up to six months for this viral load to become undetectable.

• People living with HIV who are receiving effective HIV treatment and whose viral load has not been detected for six months or more can not badually transmit the virus.

• The NHS, the UK public health service, says condoms are the most effective way to protect against HIV and other badually transmitted infections (STDs).

The story of Alex

"The first impression I had from Max was that he was very sure of himself.

I met him at a political conference of the Green Party of the United Kingdom. I was with a group of young homobaduals – we were probably quite intimidating as a collective – and even so, he came and said, "Hello."

I found out that I was HIV positive a few days after I met him.when he published it in his state of Facebook next to a photo with your meds.

One of the reasons I was attracted to him was precisely the fact that he was so open during his discussions that he was HIV-positive. I've always admired his confidence and his refusal to submit to social pressure.

I also liked the fact that even when he was confronted with the impact of his diagnosis, he was devoting some of his time and emotional energy to trying to help others.

We met a few months after this conference and it is there that everything started.

I was not afraid that he was HIV-positive. On the contrary, I felt sad because I knew that after the diagnosis, I had been rejected by other people.

By having bad without a condom, I did not care at all about contracting HIV because I knew my boyfriend was taking his medication.

I trust him completely. Some people say that people with the virus may not take their medications, but it is only a prejudice. If you live with HIV, your health depends on taking this pill every day. This is not something you forget.

I did not tell the whole family that Max was HIV-positive, I do not think it's so important.

I told my parents before taking him home for dinner, but only because he was taking his pill with dinner and did not want me to get up from the table to do it.

It is unfortunate that it has not been better revealed that HIV can not be transmitted. Too many people suffer from the stigma surrounding the disease for no reason.

People's views on HIV are rooted in the past. We must lead the change. "