How to make your children sleep, even in the same room

I am the director of Pediatric Sleep Center of Yale University and many of the children I attend in the sleep clinic who have behavioral sleep problems share a room with their siblings. Some families sleep their children in the same room to promote closeness between brothers and sisters. For many others, it is a necessity, because we do not all live in multi-room houses. Although sharing a bedroom, especially in small houses, requires concessions (between brothers and sisters and between parents and children), the situation is manageable and could even provide benefits, such as helping anxious children sleep better.

In fact, the practice of having children have their own room is relatively new in the United States. Until the Victorian era, having single rooms was a luxury that only aristocratic clbades could afford. In the middle of the 19th century, parents and children from middle clbad families slept in separate rooms, although it was still common for children to sleep in the same place. In 1843, Louisa May Alcott, who was then 10 years old and later wrote Little Women, wrote her parents a pbadive-aggressive letter in which she complained: "I thought about my little room that I guess I will never have. " Already in the twentieth century, a small room was normal for a teenager, but we do not know where they put the youngest children to sleep.

Room sharing is more popular in cities where housing costs are high and space is limited. There is little reliable data on the frequency of sharing a room. In my practice, at least half of the children living in apartments share a bedroom; The same is true for children of divorced or separated parents who sleep in several homes.

Whatever the reason for sharing, the challenges are the same. Here are some tips to help the brothers fall asleep and fall asleep without killing themselves.

Ideally, children who share a room should be as close as possible to their age. It is more likely that a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old have schedules more compatible than a teenager and a baby. (Sex is a factor for many families, even though it's not sleep-related).

You must also consider the sleeping environment that your children prefer. Should we sleep with a lighted lamp and another completely dark? Does your child need absolute silence and does your daughter ask for a white noise machine? Obviously, someone will have to make concessions. If you sleep with a baby and hope to do it later with a brother or sister, it is good to get used to sleeping in a sensory environment similar to that of your older brother or sister before proceeding to sleep. change.

Bunk beds are a great option if you have two children who no longer use the crib, although for safety reasons, the child sleeping above is at least 6 years old. This allows everyone to have a clearly defined space and also allows the older child to stay awake a little longer by reading with a small flashlight. (It is safer to place bunk beds in the corner of the room).

Mixing two different rituals to sleep is the biggest challenge of having children sharing a room. Perhaps you would like to continue reading Harry Potter with your 8 year old son, while the 3 year old is probably more interested in a quick look at Perdido and by looking for, then by. extinction of the light. Here are some tips on the best way to deal with this problem: As with all sleep habits, it is important to create a plan and stick to it as much as possible.

• Find a good schedule. When they stop being babies, the typical time to lie down is between 19:30 and 20:30. This period must meet the needs of the youngest and oldest children, but many parents believe that the youngest child should fall asleep first and then the oldest. There is no need to do it. Consider your particular situation: if your youngest child is still napping, you may fall asleep later than the other child. If there is only one parent at bedtime, it may be best to sleep in turn. If both parents are together, it is best to have simultaneous routines if both children fall asleep at the same time.

• Think with your children. Ask them what would make them more comfortable and ready to sleep. If they want to sleep at the same time, they may be able to perform most of the routine, such as reading and rocking together in a bed, and then move each child into his own bed when it is time to Turn off the light. Or, if your children are going to sleep at different times, the subsequent routine needs to be done in another room.

• Make concessions if necessary. The best plans must be flexible. It is not always possible to have a very elaborate routine with each child every night to fall asleep. Maybe sometimes you only read a few pages of a book instead of a whole chapter. Sometimes you will have to give your older son permission to watch TV or video when he screams or runs while you are trying to get the baby to sleep. In addition, it will happen that your children speak a little or stay awake later than you wish. Try to relax and accept that things will not always be perfect, especially if your children get used to the mutual company.

• The register should be kept for children sleeping in two homes. According to my experience, room sharing is more common if parents are separated. Your child's sleeping routine, as well as your bedtime, should be the same in both homes to maintain high quality sleep.

• Be clear and firm. It is normal for children to refuse to sleep. Sticking to a consistent and structured routine will help you in this task, as well as simply bringing your child back to his room without doing a lot of stories every time he gets up for "a little while".

• If you need to train them to sleep, consider temporarily taking a child out of the room. If you want to solve some sleep problems with your baby, it may be necessary to take the child out of the room for a while, especially if you plan to use the extinguishing method (that is, say the "let them cry" method). Older children usually like to sleep on a bed or mattress in your room for a while. It is important that the child who has difficulty sleeping should be trained in his room so that it does not cause tampering when changing the environment.

• Be careful of snoring. If one of your children snores a lot, ask your doctor to examine you to find out if you are suffering from a disease that makes you snore, such as obstructive sleep apnea.

• Some children will simply need their own room. If you have a child who has serious behavior problems, such as autism, you can really need your own space for your own benefit and for the rest of the family to rest. In extreme cases, this may mean that you have to share your room with your children.

• Do not let an early riser alter the sleep of the other child. Older people can stay quiet in bed, but not the little ones. Tell your morning to wake up (I know it's difficult), and not your brother. In addition, if one of your children tends to wake up at night, it may not be a bad idea to watch the monitor and go into the room as soon as you see a problem. That said, many children do not wake up with the screams and groans of their siblings, especially during the first half of the night (when we sleep in deep sleep: the dream of slow waves).

Although my children have separate bedrooms, they love having pajamas in the other room, occasions where they definitely create links. Many brothers who share the same room become more united, even when they argue. In fact, children who suffer from anxiety can sleep better if they share a room with a sister or brother. In addition, placing them in the same room gives you more room for a bed and breakfast, an office or a playroom (or a supplement for families, as they can live in smaller apartments), which creates great benefits for all.

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