The 3 myths about happiness that must be broken to achieve it

One of the biggest obstacles to happiness is that what we think makes us happy are actually bad thoughts, even though we have learned them from repetitions, have been convinced by friends or family, or if we have been strengthened by the culture and society around us.

This is defended by the professor of psychology at the University of California Sonja lyubomirsky, a graduate of Harvard University and a doctorate in social psychology from Stanford University (United States). As he argues in his book “The science of happiness”, all his research, proposals and recommendations on happiness are based on scientific evidence, which won him, for example, the Templeton Positive Psychology Prize in 2002.

He insists that many of the purported sources of happiness seem so intuitive and obvious that we all tend to be mesmerized. “This is where science can turn on a rich, clear light. The three big happiness myths we tend to fall into are cleared up after knowing that happiness is 10% dependent on circumstances, 40% on deliberate activity, and 50% on baseline.He notes in the book.

Myth 1: “We must find happiness, it is over there, somewhere, somewhere beyond our reach, a kind of earthly paradise”

On the first of the myths about happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky considers that this myth of finding happiness somewhere could only happen if the good things happen like if we marry our true love, if we get the job of our dreams or if we acquire a luxurious house.

“Don’t be one of those people who wait for this or that to happen to be happy. There’s a comic in which you see a boy on a tricycle saying to a playmate holding a kite, “I can’t wait to grow up and be happy. If you are not happy today, you will not be happy tomorrow, unless you take the reins and do something, ”says the expert.

In fact, he insists that 40% of our happiness depends on our deliberate activity and that means appreciating the promise of the great impact that the deliberate strategies we can use to become happier people can have on our lives.

“Therefore, happiness is not there, waiting for us to find it. Is in us. Happiness is more than anything, a state of mind, a way of perceiving and conceiving of ourselves as well as the world around us. For this reason, if you want to be happy tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and the rest of your life, you can do it if you choose to change and manage your mental state, ”he defends himself.

Myth 2: Happiness is about changing our situation.

In his view, “another big mistake” is the idea that we would only be happy if our life circumstances changed. As revealed, the reality is that the elements that determined our happiness in the past and that can bring future happiness are still with us now and they are there, waiting for us to take advantage of it. “Changes in our circumstances, as positive and sensational as they are, actually have very little impact on our well-being,” he adds.

Myth 3: “You have happiness or you don’t”

Finally, Lyubomirsky maintains that the conception that we are born happy or unhappy is very common, and especially those who are not too happy believe that their unhappiness is genetic and that in reality nothing can be done about it. “On the contrary, more and more research is convincingly showing that we can overcome our genetic programming,” he says.

“Any major attempt to change our lives must be accompanied by a lot of sustained effort., and I would dare say that most people can’t or won’t make that kind of effort. Plus, all new strategies for improving happiness or health have something in common: each one gives the person a specific goal, something to do, and something to look forward to. Having your own goals is strongly associated with happiness and satisfaction in life. For it, any new strategy for happiness works, at least for a while», Insists the expert.

For all this, he defends that the source of happiness is found in the way everyone should behave, in what they think and in the goals that everyone sets in each day of their life. “There is no happiness without action. If every time you accept your benchmark for happiness or your circumstances, you are attacked by a sense of passivity and futility, know that you have genuine and lasting happiness within your reach that is less than 40% of the time. happiness you have. guide, ”he remarks.

With information from Europa Press

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