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“My name is Karla Tenório, I am 38 years old, I am an actress, a writer, I have a 10 year old daughter and I am a repentant mother. I turned my anxiety into a movement to support women like me: who don’t like motherhood. I am the creator of “Repentant Mother” which aims to free the voice of mothers who are not happy as such, who suffer and feel guilty about motherhood ”.
Karla lives in Brazil and her story has had a big impact. She said she didn’t want to be a mother and gave in to her partner’s will But although she is preparing to welcome her daughter, she continued to feel just as bad even after giving birth. Anyway, he says he loves the girl, but criticizes the classic and “romantic” idea of motherhood.
“In psychosis, you lose track of time, you shut yourself off from the world, you become an over-caregiver. For example, I kept a notebook in which I wrote down how many minutes my daughter breastfed from each breast. never had a babysitter., I stopped doing a lot of things, I stopped taking jobs to be a great mother, because of guilt Symptoms of maternal regret are frustration, the feeling that life is ending, abandonment, discouragement in developing new life projects. It took me ten years to come out of the closet, assuming myself as a repentant mother, because it seemed to me that I was the only one, but it is not like that.
The movement he leads seeks to combat the social construction, based on Christian ethics, according to which women have an unconditional love for their son, who is in the image and likeness of the Virgin Mary. The idea that when you are a mother you lose your sexuality, you turn completely to your child, the housework and the care.
Karla Tenorio is 38 years old and has made some powerful statements.
“When I got married, I didn’t want to be a mother, but today I see that I gave in to a desire that was not mine. One day, during a trip to India, while meditating on the Ganges, I had a vision that I was going to have a child. Then I spent two years planning and preparing it. I wanted to, I didn’t get pregnant by accident, ”she says.
In an interview with Brazilian media, the woman spoke about her experience as a mother. And she said she was surprised, since she realized that all the preparation she had done before childbirth It wasn’t at all up to the way he was feeling.
The woman created the “Repentant Mother” site.
“Motherhood involves all the care with hygiene, the training of a citizen, a study of psychology to understand each phase of development, in addition to the money to pay all the expenses of a child. an extremely suffocating bullet structured by society, a high-risk enterprise, without recognition and without return, ”she is sincere.
Karla hates being a mother “since my daughter’s head came out” during childbirth and from the first minute she wanted to go back in time. She also suffered from postpartum psychosis, even more severe than depression, as her pressure to be an exemplary mother turned her into an “over-caregiver” of her daughter, without really wanting to take on that role.
“My daughter, Flor Inae, is an amazing person, a success because she is an obedient girl, good people, who has values and I love her. The truth is that unfortunately I come from a family very religious and I know I would never have had an abortion then. “
Karla actively participates in the networks.
The woman lived for a long time with a guilt that gnawed at her inside; about 10 years. Much of this aversion to being a mother was linked to abusive behavior on the part of her ex-partner, as she points out; she hid her real thoughts about being a “sorry mom” because she felt like she was the only one going through this process.
But in 2017, after meeting a group of women to talk, she realized that she was not alone and decided to let go of this burden.: she realized that she can hate motherhood as a concept, but still love her daughter very much, whom she defines as “an amazing person, obedient, good people and values”.
Brazilian actress Karla Tenorio and her 10-year-old daughter Inae.
“I own my daughter’s physical care until she can take care of herself, but for society it’s not just that. The mother is responsible for this soul until the end of life, an archetypal saint, who blesses us wherever we are. I have already received criticism for the movement I created, especially from men, who said it was the only one. My mother understands that we are not the same, she welcomes me, she doesn’t judge me, she knows that I am disruptive and she understands that my search is real, because she sees my daily effort to do what there is. has better for my daughter. ”
Karla and her 10-year-old daughter Inae.
Karla has created an Instagram profile called “Regretful Mother” to represent and support women who live with this difficulty. In addition, it seeks to sensitize those who do not have children to what motherhood really is, thus giving a vision more attached to reality and less romantic.
“Not only do I want to say that I am a repentant mother, but I want to offer my pain to talk about something deep that affects a lot of people. In our society, we are the children and grandchildren of many repentant mothers. And women must be welcomed into its vent. I also think about the importance of warning women who have not yet had children and those who plan to have children about what motherhood really is. It is necessary to put an end to the romantic side of motherhood, which is very harmful for all of us, which causes sadness, depression and death, ”is her energetic and profound analysis.
Brazilian actress Karla Tenorio and her 10-year-old daughter Inae.
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