The writer Fernando Savater confessed that he was always unfaithful: "I was going with boys and girls"

At the door of the house of Fernando Savater there is a doormat decorated with crow Edgar Allan Poe. The American narrator was the "great literary love" shared by the philosopher and his wife Sara Torres, who died in 2015, victim of a brain tumor, which led them to pilgrimage to hospitals in San Sebastian, Madrid and Baltimore , the city that Poe himself died. In a few days "The worst: the memories of love" comes the book in which Savater tells three decades of life together without saving anything: his belonging to ETA, his infidelities, the foundation of the "Enough Ya" movement or the pbadion for fantasy cinema. His back turned to a rainy Madrid, the thinker sometimes breaks his voice without losing his mood. "Are you looking for my good profile?" Asks the photographer. "Theyou're both mean. "

He says that's his last book.

Yes, because he's writing for her. I did the books in three months and it cost me four years. Notice, it's not my sorrows. I'm not self-centered enough to think that the world knows if I'm sad or cheerful, but I've talked a lot about joy and I've also been honored to talk about the fragility of joy. .

"Bliss is diluted in the effort to say it," he writes. And grief?

When the feelings are real, it is very difficult to write. Crying, there is no way to properly compose a sentence, to write well. For the first time, the feelings were so strong that they locked me up.

In the book, he repeats that he has never known everything about his wife, that he has never seen his identity card.

Now I have it, but he never taught me. I was traumatized by a childhood of misery Deep in the Canary Islands, victim of badual abuse … When he went to Hospitalet with his mother, he funded studies on the sale of flowers to Las Ramblas. Little by little, I learned the existence of the absent father.

You distinguish between loyalty and loyalty.

I have been a completely unfaithful person. I was going with girls and boys, but I have never told another to be the first. Loyalty? This book is written as if she was looking at me over her shoulder, even though I know that I have transgressed some taboos. I am not ashamed, what I have is good taste. There are things that are not counted.

However, he tells the reader things that he did not tell him.

I do not count them, I let them understand. These are not the memories of Casanova. It does not seem to me that love has a primordial badual component. There is a certain tenderness, but love has nothing to do with it. I miss her, but not because of bad. And I miss bad, but for other things, not for her. It was an ingredient, but not the basis.

And what is love? Known?

No, the book has an optimistic part and it is that love exists. Although it is now said that he is macho, love is always romantic. My friend Celia Amorós always says that love has to be crazy because otherwise, it is not half half. You can not define more than telling your life with the other person.

Was it a challenge?

Because what I like, it's reading, I like the fact that people write better than me, but in this case, I would have liked to be the good writer that & # 039; She thought she was. To say it as it deserved.

Do you think some will be shocked to learn that she was part of ETA and that you were close to Batasuna?

It is that we all came from experience. As an anti-Franco, my friends were closer to the left abertzale (nationalist) that of Phalange. I've had ETA people at home. NOTOr I speak without knowing. I had the side is ñoñostiarra that she blames me. It was the struggle for the poor. Then the veil of our eyes is lowered. Of course, 20 years ago, I thought the opposite.

Do you consider yourself a Spanish nationalist?

As Julian Marias said, we all have an annex, but It is not the same thing to have an appendix as to have appendicitis. The nationalist has an inflammation of the nation. This description of Europe seemed very nationalistic according to which, in the face of immigration, our way of life must be defended. No, what we must defend are the laws of democracy. The democratic way of life is not compulsory. Nationalism, is to say: here we live like that. The only way to defend individual freedom is the rule of law and there are no rule of law without a national profile. Before those who speak of stateless nations, what I would like is a state without a nation. But that can not be today. Spain's national symbols reinforce the rule of law and, in this sense, are not negligible.