Valentine's day, what do you see when you see me? «Newspaper The capital of Mar del Plata

by Beatriz Literature

In recent years, February 14 is celebrated in Argentina on Valentine's Day. In other countries, the traditional celebration takes place on other dates and is called Valentine 's Day. A whole story of allusive content to this character, but beyond the origin of this celebration, what is actually destined to be celebrated in every country on the planet is the love, the l? love so much desired by all human beings and often so elusive or fleeting.

Two decades ago, science discovered the mystery of what is happening chemically behind "this crazy little thing called love" (paraphrasing the famous song sung by Elvis) and explained to us and justified by hormonal formulas and neurotransmitters what happens to us when we feel in love.

The truth is that when we are in love, we are so fascinated, dazzled and so good that scientific answers do not interest us much and we hope to continue as long as possible in this incredible state.

Since badology, we have also tried to provide resources to lovers in order to try to extend the magic as much as possible, also using the modern techniques of communication and negotiation so that "this little crazy thing …" becomes a a bigger, deeper and more powerful feeling that allows human beings to see themselves as they are and, more importantly, to be accepted with their advantages and disadvantages, which is the real challenge in forming a couple.

Being in love, we are intoxicated, hormonally speaking, and we only see what we want to see and our own feelings projected or attributed by ourselves to the other person; Moreover, the game of seduction and conquest keeps our ego at bay, making us patient, loving and tolerant; The same thing happens to our / or love and we believe that this behavior will be eternal.

When the spell fades due to greater familiarity, deeper knowledge of the other person or coexistence, we start to observe and hate things that " are not compatible with me ". But when we develop true love, it is because behind this fascination we can see the other person with his true characteristics; some we like a lot and others less or nothing. However, we consider ourselves able to accept the challenge of a bond and a coexistence in which we will have to, as well as the other person, try to develop all our potential for understanding, to Empathy, generosity, respect and freedom (among many other qualities we all possess). in germ).

Why do we often want to send everything to the devil? Because we will be tired of fighting instead of "everything flow". I am sorry for the disappointment; In long-term projects, you always have to work hard, things do not happen spontaneously. It's a myth, like that of "badual spontaneity".

A long-term relationship is like a business and requires a lot of work, just like the project to have children. It's more a way to "do" than to "feel". Happiness and magic are really experienced when we appreciate the results.

In that sense, what could we celebrate on Valentine's Day? It could be the triumph of love over falling in love, which means the victory of altruism over selfishness, feeling wiser, overcoming one's own limits, and being able to build with the sentient beings we love a space where we can express ourselves and share a link that makes us happy.

(*): Clinical Medical Sexologist, Gynecologist and Sexual Educator, Head of Sexology and Sexual Dysfunction Department of the Halitus Medical Institute.