Dear readers: I briefly moved away from my column to work on a new writing project. This week, I'm re-reading the topical questions and answers from 10 years ago. Today's topic is about our relationship with our cell phones.
Dear Amy: I have a good friend who is very kind, very caring and very reliable. Whenever someone needs to reach her, my friend is more than just one text message. But that's what seems to be the problem: she is always reachable and her phone is always there.
I recently spent time with her and we barely spoke during the few hours we spent together, as she was receiving and sending messages consistently. She sent text messages at least three times every five minutes. I appreciate that whenever someone needs to send him a text message, she never fails to respond promptly, but it is extremely annoying to testify.
I feel as if when I was hanging out with her, I was really hanging out with her phone. What is the best way to approach it?
Bored with texting
Bored of texting: I do not understand. Unless your friend is a paramedic duty attendant or a renowned cardiac surgeon while waiting for the delivery of an organ to transplant, why is it necessary that she be in constant contact with his circle of connections?
I agree with you that it is very annoying to watch someone with whom you like to read and reply to text messages. Moreover, it is extremely rude to do this with abandon when she is with you.
Maybe the next time you're together, you should send an SMS to your friend to tell him how this habit affects you. "Dear friend, your constant texting while we are together drives me crazy. Let's both put our phone while we are together. I'm going to start. "(This message contains exactly 140 characters – in case your friend is also addicted to Twitter.)
After sending your message, turn off your phone and throw it in the middle of the coffee table. Dare the same thing.
Dear Amy: One of my oldest friends still keeps his mobile phone when we meet. I've often commented that it was rude to inflict private conversations on a cell phone. He insists that because I have never had children, I do not understand (his children are all adults).
His recent favorite excuse is that the orders he's writing for the factory he works for keep the job of many people. He claims that I am not reasonable because I am an only child. (We are both 62.)
The last time I saw it – after the fifth call – I exploded. It was a business emergency, but in my opinion the call could have waited.
The fact that the last time was an emergency is not an excuse, from my point of view. The only alternative may be to take separate cars when we plan activities, or simply not to meet. I think this person shows little consideration for others.
I do not think there is room for compromise – it's his way or the highway. I am ready to take the highway. What is the label here?
Denis: The etiquette is a matter of consideration and respect, and this highway goes both ways.
Cell phones allow people to do business during a ball game or fishing trip. They also let family members warn each other in case of emergency. Unfortunately, mobile phones also allow people to be in constant touch and report in real time what they eat (or think about eating) for dinner. This constant report is odious and boring to watch.
Of course, there is room for compromise. If you and your friend are together during working hours, then he or she should take calls within reasonable limits. It's not up to you to decide what is or is not a legitimate job call.
Your friend should not take personal calls while you are together. You can do this by agreeing very basic basic rules. Your tenacity and comments about your personal situation do not help you.
Dear readers: Are you curious about my past and my life outside the confines of this space? Read my two memoirs: "The powerful queens of Freeville: a mother, a daughter and the city that raised them "and" Foreigners tend to tell me things ", available wherever books are sold or borrowed. You can also follow me on Twitter or Instagram: @AskingAmy; on Facebook at Facebook.com/ADickinsondaily.