Usain in the Membrane: Why Bolt in A-League No Sense

A few weeks ago, when pbadionate supporters of the A-League made their way through this ephemeral period, giving themselves some fantastic moments, with hindsight, to imagine Andres Iniesta coming out on Australian grounds in 2018-1919, this seemed at the time the upper limits of brand fantasy.

A player who had been a star and a starter quite justified for Barcelona and Spain in the season just ended was perhaps preparing for Sydney FC, or Melbourne City; it would have been an unprecedented arrival. A few days later, with Iniesta posing with Vissel Kobe's swimsuit and signing a contract, we all felt a little silly.

I do not know about you all, but I feel a little silly – maybe just on behalf of the Central Coast Mariners – now. Where Iniesta had been a pleasant fantasy, the confirmation that Usain Bolt is about to stand trial at the Mariners has brought fantasy into this completely unpleasant Dali-esque realm of disturbing surrealism.

Bolt is a sprinter, and retired almost a year ago. He has never had a contract as a professional footballer. His last stint with studs instead of crampons saw him face a team made up of former 50 year old footballers, Robbie Williams and Mo Farah. He looked pretty ordinary against them too. The most notable was the very good result of 54-year-old David Seaman, who was totally unaware that he was clearly offside.

There is no timeline in which it is appropriate, at this stage of the existence of the A-League, Bolt can even be considered for a lawsuits, let alone a contract. The A-League has declined a bit last season, with a general drop in crowds and a slight feeling of momentum lost, but if this is a problem, this may not be the solution.

The bump in the cover and, perhaps, the crowds that Bolt might spark could well be offset by the negative reaction we already see from the League's well-established support. Sokkah Twitter is in flames, not that it does not run in the best case.

Several ex-players – Daniel McBreen and Clint Bolton, for example – criticized the decision, throwing cold water on Bolt's footballing ability, and pointing out how alienating the charade is for clubs. and NPL officials. He has spent the last few years wanting more space to open up to A league teams so that young local talent can fill it.

Usain Bolt, Jamaican, Gold Medalist (Photo: Patrick Smith / Getty Images)

We have just literally had a conversation about how Australian football is producing not as many technically competent young attackers. , and how this has delayed the reins of the last two leaders of Socceroos. At the center of this discussion was the question of how foreign A-League players are mostly attackers – many of whom are attackers – who prevent young attackers from being killed in first-team positions .

Bolt is an attacker – if we can describe him as such without aerial citations – in addition to being a non-footballer; It is difficult to conceive of a more scornful, contemptuous and courteous gesture following this important discussion after the World Cup.

The statements of Mariners' CEOs, Shaun Mielekamp, ​​in recent days, are of a truly remarkable read. In a breath, he said: "For us, it is important not to pre-empt ourselves" and "" We will not know until that happens. It can not happen. We just have to keep a very balanced approach.

Then, in the following breath, Mielekamp says "When he [Bolt] does performance and when he scores a goal, that's the big moment." That's the little that all of We want to see if this will become a reality. "

Mielekamp Lyric lyric about potential sponsors who are already making approaches, painted live images of Bolt drawing packed stadiums across the country. When the circus receives a new monster, the crowds flock to ooh and aah, to point and bitch, and they pay their price to squeeze their face against the fence and gawk.

Gimmicks tend to unravel an immediate reaction and quite showy, that's right. And then the novelty dissipates, or the attraction continues, and what remains? A reputation as a Mickey Mouse league, ready to belittle itself for a short-term money gain, chatting and eager to host any near-well-known athlete seeking a club around the world football enough desperate to act like a feather in his cap.

Wout Brama of the Central Coast Mariners (AAP Image / Tony McDonough)

The Mariners – and the FFA, if indeed the rumors of their shredding to grease the wheels of this miserable process – have need to stop and think about what they have to gain and lose.

Bolt's view sprinted in a straight line along the wing of Central Coast Stadium, posing with the bottle of giant tomato sauce, making lightning after accidentally pbading the ball over the line at the end of the day. A fight; the scene is a high joke, several orders of magnitude greater than Israel Folau's exit in AFL.

The best of times – which is very unlikely to happen – still hurts the reputation of the league and directly or indirectly hinders youth development. This is not worth the potential benefits.

We have just seen the illuminated Croatian-Australian glow during the Croatian race at the World Cup final. The display of figures for graveyard World Cup matches involving two foreign teams has attracted amazing audiences on SBS.

We have two local coaches making A-League debut as senior goaltenders this season at Steve Corica and Mark Rudan. There was a pbadionate and complex debate about the good tactical formula to be adopted by the Roos during the World Cup. Australia is a country that takes football seriously, which is ready for a mature competition, which, in general, is happy that the crazy and crazy first years of the A-League are over.

Romario and Benito Carbone have given way to Milos Ninkovic and Besart Berisha, and there is no reason to disrupt this evolutionary direction. The presence of Bolt threatens all this, all for a few headlines of the Daily Telegraph, and a handful of plastic fans.

In the past, Bolt has expressed a keen interest in playing professional cricket in the Big Bash League. He played at the NBA celebrity match at the All-Star Weekend. He made the headlines earlier this year when he organized a "test" with Borussia Dortmund, a club that has Puma as the main sponsor and kit provider; Puma is also the sponsor of Bolt.

He performs a sports taste test worldwide, poses for cameras, builds his mark after retirement and collects wheelbarrows of money. This is his agent who offered Bolt to the A-League clubs. This is another publicity stunt, and the Mariners should rise above it.