Best Teen Witch TV Shows and Movies, October 2018

Welcome to the season of the witch. There are sorceresses aplenty popping up onscreen this Halloween, from Freeform’s Hocus Pocus marathon to the new Chilling Adventures of Sabrina set to premiere on Friday. But Netflix’s iteration of Sabrina is hardly the first teen witch to catch the attention of the occult-loving mbades. In fact, she’s not even the first Sabrina: That particular Teenage Witch has lived many lives, from an Archie Comics character and a ’90s WB heroine to this latest spell-caster. So, where does this new version of Sabrina fit in the recent history of film and TV’s best teen witches? There’s no more appropriate way to catalogue teen witches in all their high-school glory than a yearbook, complete with superlatives and senior quotes, so read on to get to know the clbad of 1989, clbad of 2018, and every teen witch in between. (Teens only, no tweens or 20-somethings!)

Most Likely to Use Magic to Win a Dance/Rap Battle: Louise Miller may have been a reincarnated witch from the 1600s, but she used her newfound magic powers with modern concerns in mind. Namely, popularity, the most beautiful guy in school (Brad!), and (duh) a hot new wardrobe. Oh, and giving her BFF Polly the guts to go up against the guy she had a crush on in a dance/rap battle. Top that!

Activities: Latin Club; Honor Roll; Drama Club; Cheerleading

Senior Quote: “I don’t want to put a spell on him. I want him to like me because I’m me.”

Most Likely to Straddle Two Worlds: Sabrina Spellman was caught between the mortal and witch worlds for her entire teenage life. As a result, she’ll be most remembered for always being at the center of weird goings-on at Westbridge High and shouting, “Gotta go!” to anyone within earshot whenever things got magical.

Activities: School Newspaper; Science Club; Battle of the Bands; solving family secrets; babysitting

Senior Quote: “What’s the matter? I have to be a witch, I have to be a mortal, I have to be a teenager, and I have to be a girl all at the same time. That’s what the matter!”

Most Likely to Succeed: Sarah Bailey couldn’t have known what moving to L.A. would do to her life, but perhaps the silver lining — if you can find one in making witch friends, everything getting wildly out of control, and then nearly dying at their hands — is that she discovered the true, natural power within? Or something.

Activities: Light As a Feather, Stiff As a Board; reading about witchcraft; studying French

Senior Quote: “Oh, relax, it’s only magic.”

Most Likely to Invoke the Spirit: All Nancy wanted was power over her crappy life. But she let that power go to her head and it led her down a dark, dark path. Maybe witchcraft is better suited for just playing Light As a Feather, Stiff As a Board after all?

Activities: Worshipping Manon; shoplifting

Senior Quote: “We are the weirdos, mister.”

Most Likely to Take the Plunge: At least sweet and welcoming Rochelle got to take down her racist bully once the coven was complete, before everything went bad so quickly. Whatever you send out, you get back times three, as the witch-store woman said. At least she’ll always have Bonnie!

Activities: Worshipping Manon; Swim/Diving Team

Senior Quote: “It’s working. Check it out, her spell is working!”

Most Likely to See the Power in Others: Bonnie was plagued with insecurity due to her scars, so turning to witchcraft helped her deal (and get rid of the scars), but she ultimately ended up paying the price with her powers when things turned sour. At least she’ll always have Rochelle!

Activities: Worshipping Manon

Senior Quote: “The almanac says today will bring an arrival of something.”

Most Likely to Blossom in College: Where would the Scooby Gang be without Willow’s witchy power — plus her computer skills, which could’ve pbaded for magic in the ’90s? Nowhere good, that’s for sure.

Activities: Scooby Gang; Math Club; Science Club; Computer Club

Senior Quote: “I’m very powerful. And maybe it’s not such a good idea for you to piss me off.”

Most Likely to Be Found in the Library: Hermione Granger may have been mocked for being Muggle-born and reading too much and literally choosing to take extra clbades, but the truth is that Harry, Ron, and the whole wizarding world would’ve been totally screwed without her. Smart witches FTW.

Activities: S.P.E.W.; Slug Club; Dumbledore’s Army; reading; studying

Senior Quote: “Honestly, am I the only person who’s ever bothered to read Hogwarts, A History?”

Most Likely to Cause a Magical Mishap: In her quest to become the family wizard, Alex got up to her fair share of silly magical high jinks. But what else would you expect from a Disney Channel show?

Activities: Art; Quiz Bowl; shopping

Senior Quote: “I’m a wizard.”

Most Likely to Be a Heroine: Bonnie Bennett may have thought her witchy family tree and fledgling powers were just a joke at first, but she eventually grew into her power and became a true hero for Mystic Falls and her friends and loved ones. Grams forever!

Activities: Cheerleading; anchoring to the Other Side; hunting vampires; The Spirits

Senior Quote: “It’s impossible and it’s true — I’m a witch.”

Most Likely to Defect From the Coven: Queenie’s power was so great she thought she might be the Supreme, and she was one of two witches who survived the Seven Wonders, which is a pretty great reward for all the crap she had to deal with during AHS: Coven.

Activities: Witches’ Council; voodoo; practicing the Seven Wonders

Senior Quote: “I grew up on white-girl shit like Charmed and Sabrina the Teenage Cracker. I didn’t even know that there were black witches. As it turns out, I’m an heir to Tituba. She was a house slave in Salem. She was the first to be accused of witchcraft. So, technically, I’m part of your tribe.”

Most Likely to Fall in Love: Zoe’s arrival in New Orleans kicks off the coven adventures, and after she was welcomed by a creepy prank, things got really wild. Like, “resurrected frat boy and movie star threesome” wild.

Activities: Witches’ Council; practicing the Seven Wonders; unsanctioned resurrection; revenge murder

Senior Quote: “We read about the Salem witch trials in, like, fifth grade. Guess I should’ve paid more attention.”

Most Likely to Steal Your Resurrected Boyfriend: A talented witch with a taste for revenge and partying, Madison Montgomery almost made it through the Seven Wonders before dying at the hand of Zoe’s undead boyfriend for her refusal to resurrect Zoe. Yikes.

Activities: Acting; practicing the Seven Wonders; playing pranks; revenge murder; unsanctioned resurrection

Senior Quote: “Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me!”

Most Likely to Reject the Dark: Lena’s biggest worry was being pulled to the dark side of magic, and maybe she should’ve spent a little more time worrying about her scheming family. But all’s well that ends well when you’re reunited with your memory-wiped love at the library, right?

Activities: Reading poetry; fretting over being pulled to the dark; reliving past lives

Senior Quote: “Define good.”

Most Likely to Travel in a Pack: Prudence + Dorcas + Agatha forever.

Activities: Harrowing Sabrina; boys; studying at the Academy of Unseen Arts

Senior Quote: “You’re going to die, half-breed!”

Most Likely to Question Her Destiny: Will the new Sabrina choose to embrace the witch world, the mortal world, or both?

Activities: Co-founder of Baxter High’s W.I.C.C.A.; studying at the Academy of Unseen Arts

Senior Quote: “My name is Sabrina Spellman. And I will not sign it away.”