Because I am small and Asian, I am fetishized by white men

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This is not unusual. I spent most of my adult life spending psychological and emotional energy to repel men like him. And do not tell me you can not help those who attract you.

"Yellow fever" is not a preference. It is a racial prejudice.

I have a small body. I have an Asian face. Women like me are handcuffed to a double bond. We must fight the men who infantilize us because of our small body and who also believe that the Asian face bears a special gene that makes us soft, gentle and non-confrontational.

It's both oppressive and racist.

I am always amazed by the number of white men who always see me and who immediately feel like being "submissive, docile, complacent, accommodating, kind in the kitchen, tiger in the bedroom".

My body is considered a literal and symbolic site on which to build their fantasies of the perfect Asian lover.

The pernicious perception that most young Asian women have small, childlike bodies is not necessarily false. What is frightening is the ease with which these men impose their stories on us.

It's a painful effrontery, not a compliment. These guys are waiting for something from us and us, based on their myth about Asian women, and when we do not meet those expectations, they have the power to hurt us so easily.

It is equally painful to realize how the very narrow representations of Asian women in the West have created the idea in the minds of these men that because of our perception of submission, they may be given a sense of ownership and possession.

I recently went into my 30s. I have a long and complicated history with white men that has found me attractive, although I have never really understood the underlying factors of their attraction to Asian women, in itself, compared to women of other racial origins.

Sometimes I had the feeling of having found a person who loved my body as a carrier of the person inside, only to realize that, for him, my body was simply a bad and a curiosity.

My body is considered a literal and symbolic site on which to build their fantasies of the perfect Asian lover.

To each new loving partner, I must make the same anxious badessment: Are you interested in me because of who I am, or because of the shadow of my the skin and the Asian face that I wear? I'm never sure how to react.

Under what is projected on me, is my relationship with my Asian heritage. I have to fight against Taiwanese cultural indoctrination so that sacrificing and being selfless is the ultimate way to be for a woman.

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I found these men reluctant to face their own prejudices and prejudices. They operate in a system of racial stratification (themselves superior), leaving Asian women to shoulder the disproportionate burden of achieving, resisting or negotiating their stereotypes.

I wonder if I will live my life in this country by destroying stereotypes. It is not my job nor that of other Asian women to do it.

These men should scrutinize their so-called "preferences" and work to change unjust and false racist perceptions. I am not here for their education, badual or otherwise.

I blocked the man who sent me the aggressive text based on the race when I rejected him. I hope he examines and confronts his prejudices. It is only then that women of Asian descent will be respected as much as we should and treated as whole human beings – and not as props embodying derogatory fantasies.