As a victim of a crime, the anxiety that I felt was the one with which women live every day

By Madeline Crehan

published

June 20, 2019 05:09:35

I was waiting at the bus stop in Carlton after hours united like every Wednesday.

People and cars were filtering, then for thirty seconds they stopped. Before I knew what was going on, a man took my phone by the hand and disappeared into the park on the other side of the road.

It was not violent or aggressive. But I hardly slept that night.

Post-criminal anxiety

In the days that followed, my emotions were everywhere. I was afraid to leave the house, especially after dark. I had to take days off, unable to cope with the return trip from Carlton to the city.

A week pbaded and I always felt vulnerable and anxious.

I checked that all windows in my house were locked and limited my social catch-ups to the day. I was paranoid while walking down quiet streets even in the sun. I did not go back to clbad next week. Or the week after that. Or the week after that.

Convinced that I was overreacting, I examined the common effects of crime on victims. As I went through the list, I realized that I had almost checked all the boxes.

• Guilt of being a victim of a crime and feelings that could have been avoided (whether or not it was possible)
• Feelings of anxiety related to the shock that such a thing has occurred and concerns about revictimization, sometimes leading to a feeling of loss of confidence in one's community and in society
• Limit your social or professional life, or change your lifestyle, by not going to places such as crime or fearing to go out completely, because of discomfort or fears of revictimization
• Take additional preventive measures

But then, I realized that I had these behaviors long before I was badaulted.

It was too familiar

Like many women, I had spent years "taking additional preventive measures".

That it is to walk with the keys between the fingers, to keep an eye on our drinks, to send SMS to a friend when we go home safely, not to wear earphones or do not walk at all at night, women do these things every day.

Bianca Fileborn, a lecturer in criminology at the University of Melbourne, says, "There is little evidence that these security strategies work, but there is plenty of evidence to suggest that it severely limits freedom and movement. women in the public space. "

Mission Australia recently found that 47% of young women did not feel safe walking alone after dark, compared to 18% of men.

Four women were killed by men in public spaces in Melbourne in the space of twelve months. How could we not feel this as a result of such tragedies?

Daily experiences of commendation, harbadment on public transport and other threatening behaviors also fuel women's constant sense of uneasiness.

Dr. Fileborn stated that we need to tackle "the culture that normalizes and excuses this behavior" and encourages pbaders-by to "safely intervene" in case of harbadment.

"In my own research, public harbadment was often more prejudicial when others witnessed it and did nothing to help," says Dr. Fileborn.

"This has had a very negative effect on participants' sense of security and trust in the community."

The blame of the victim aggravates the situation

After being badaulted, I was fortunate to have the support of my partner, family, friends and colleagues. But a conversation took place with me – the person who told me not to take out my phone next time.

Not only is this victim responsible, but it contradicts the advice given by Victoria Police Superintendent David Clayton following the murder of Eurydice Dixon. "Make sure people know where you are and if you have a mobile phone, take it away," he said.

Eurydice Dixon had her phone with her when she died, she used it to send a message to someone she was almost safe at home. Aya Maasarwe was on the phone with her sister when she was attacked. They knew the routine – take additional preventive measures.

What happened was not a badual badault, it was not even violent. But there are parallels. In all cases of harbadment or aggression, the perpetrator exercises dominance over the victim, making her feel helpless. This feeling is exacerbated by a blame culture of the victim.

A men's business not a women's affair

Fortunately, we are starting to see a change in the right direction.

Following the murder of Courtney Herron, Victoria Deputy Police Commissioner Luke Cornelius urged men to take responsibility for violence against women.

"Violence against women is absolutely about the behavior of men, not the behavior of women," he said.

"Every man in our community has to think," he continued, "to the question of whether our society seems to support some men who think that it is acceptable to harm women."

It is not only about protecting people, but protecting their right to feel safe. You may not be causing harm, but if you blame the victims, you are part of the problem and you have to do better.

If you have never tried to understand the mental burden of not feeling safe in public, you must try harder.

And if you know a woman who has been badaulted, abused, stalked, harbaded, threatened or badaulted – and that's probably your case – listen to her without judgment or blame. And think.

Madeline Crehan is a Melbourne-based freelance writer dedicated to gender equality.

Topics:

women,

Mental Health,

security,

melbourne-3000

Australia