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LINDA McFadden's second baby is almost dead from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), but this is not enough for her to overcome a debilitating addiction.
She fought for more than six years, getting drunk every day and hiding alcohol around her husband's house.
It started when Linda was 15 years old. At first, it was just weird beer at a party.
"I was usually very shy, but with alcohol, I felt happy and confident," said the 53-year-old mother at Sun.
Soon, she was at the pub every weekend. Although she was a minor, Linda seemed older.
By the time she was 22, she was hooked.
"Alcohol has consumed all my thoughts," she said. "By living with my parents, I was hiding tin cans on the window sill, so they did not know."
Even so, Linda did not believe that she had a problem. Of course she was late for work, but she could still work.
"No one ever said anything and I refused to believe that I had a problem," she said. "I was thin and I had a lot of energy, and what if I needed a drink?"
When they met, Linda David's husband thought that she was just a social drinker like him Photo: The Sun
In 1989, Linda is married and is expecting Sarah and her first daughter, Sarah. She tried to reduce her consumption of alcohol during pregnancy, but found that she could not.
"Are you sure you do not want lemonade?" Once, David asked her when she was five months pregnant and ordered a pint at the pub.
"He did not understand that it was not a choice for me," she said. "I needed to drink alcohol."
Sarah was fortunate to escape the permanent damage caused by her mother's alcohol consumption, even though she was underweight at birth: about two kilograms.
When Sarah did not want to feed herself, the doctors said that they suspected that she was suffering from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. For a while, the little girl had to be fed through a tube, but in the end, she reached her important milestones and became a strong and adorable little girl.
Linda survives eight pints (470 ml per glbad) of beer a day.
"David was coming home to find me fainting on the couch with Sarah in her pen," recalls Linda.
When Sarah was five, she found her mother throwing up in the bathroom.
"What's wrong mom?" the little girl asked. Linda blamed that too much tea.
That same year, Linda discovered that she was pregnant again.
"Now I was drinking so much, I did not even think about cutting."
Unfortunately, the second baby was not as successful as his older sister. Linda had an emergency caesarean section two months before her delivery date. The baby, whom they called Claire, weighed less than a kilo. The tiny newborn had a 50% chance of survival.
Claire was born with clbadic signs of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and experienced a life of hardship Photo: The Sun
"I sat next to the incubator in tears as the consultant came to see us," she said. "We can tell by Claire's features that she has FAS," he said, explaining that babies with FAS often have small eyes and that the space between the eyes and the nose is flat.
It should have been the wake-up call that Linda needed to stop drinking immediately, but her addiction was far too strong.
"I did not want to admit that my drinking had affected it, so I continued."
One day while David was at work, Linda left the stove and fainted, drunk. A frantic Sarah woke her mother as the smoke rose from their kitchen.
After the firefighters arrived, social services arrived to threaten Linda to take the girls.
Linda went to live with her aunt while David stayed with the girls. She enrolled in a rehabilitation clinic.
After three months of painful withdrawal symptoms, the sober mother returned home.
Although Linda is sober, Claire will still feel the effects of her mother's drinking.
"She suffers from anxiety and her progress is behind other kids in school," said Linda.
"To tell him that it was as a result of my drinking was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
For a long time, Claire blamed her mother, but she is now 23 years old and has a regular job and a boyfriend.
"She's still fighting socially," said Linda. "Fortunately, we are very close, she knows how sorry I am and that I am always there for her.
"I will never forgive myself, I feel so guilty for betraying my daughter."
This article appeared on Kidspot and has been republished here with his permission.
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