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Dear readers: I moved away from Ask Amy column for two weeks to work on a new writing project. I hope you enjoy these edited chronicles "best of" in my absence. All these questions and answers were published for the first time 10 years ago. Today's topic is: Well-being.
Dear Amy: As a public health nurse and mother of four, I spend a lot of time talking about germs and staying healthy. With seasonal flu, H1N1 flu and nasty germs such as MRSA in the community, I'm amazed that people bring their newborns to the mall or grocery store and distribute them as postcards. For the mother who wrote to you, if she kept her young daughter at home, strangers who touch her baby would not be a problem.
Children under 6 months of age have no fully functioning immune system. They should not be in the crowd, like the mall or at parties. People who have babies at home (or those who care for them) should be vaccinated against the flu. By immunizing all those who come in contact with the baby, it protects the baby unable to get vaccinated. This is what is called "herd immunity". If you like them, immunize yourself. If they are too young to be vaccinated, protect them by keeping them away from public places.
Nurse in California
Dear Nurse, According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately 36,000 Americans die each year from influenza-related causes. Some working parents have no choice but to take their baby out of the world. For this reason, the wider community should do everything possible to help protect them. Thank you for your advocacy. (October 2009)
Dear Amy: How should I manage a bipolar friend? She is fine until she stops taking her medications, then she becomes mean and hateful, and I do not know how to forgive her what she said about me.
Put-on Friend Put-on Friend: Bipolar disorder is a serious illness that can respond well to treatment. The mood swings and behavior of people with bipolar disorder can hurt relationships. Your friend is responsible for maintaining her health and taking medication to control her illness. Your responsibility is to understand your health problems and to inform your child when she is behaving in a way that harms your friendship. When your friend stops taking her medication and abuses you, remind her how her behavior affects you. Discuss with her when she is stable. Ask him to pay more attention to his treatment and offer to help him. Your friend's illness may explain her behavior, but her burden is to acknowledge her apology and apologize. The National Institute of Mental Health offers a comprehensive description of this disease. Check nimh.nih.gov. (September 2009)
Dear Amy: I am a nurse and have worked for a doctor for 34 years. He gave me a generous severance package. My son stole most of it because he is an addict. He is in rehab now and is doing well until now.
Then my husband, aged 27, moved because he felt "not good at marriage." He is distant with me since his retirement (five years ago).
My daughter lives in two states further. We have trouble talking to each other. She is close to her father.
I have the impression of having been a good wife and a good mother. I do not know what went wrong. I enjoy a group of friends, but the loss of my family is consuming me.
Any advice on how to get through this?
Sad mom
Dear sad, In addition to providing the lyrics of many western ballads, these challenging times offer us opportunities for growth and change. It's hard to see it that way when you've just been clubbed, but in life, you adjust or you get stuck in your sadness.
You can start by doing an examination of conscience, to see what you have to assume and what you have to give up. Give yourself the new start that each of us deserves.
Let your healthy relationships support you and propel you. Look for opportunities to work or volunteer, helping others. Your nursing skills would be welcome in many organizations. Being helpful to others will help you feel better. (May 2009)
Dear readers: Are you curious about my past and my life outside the confines of this space? Read my two memoirs, "The Powerful Queens of Freeville" and "Strangers Told to Tell Me", available wherever books are sold or borrowed.
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