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Gwyneth Paltrow speaks at 3Labs In Goop Health Summit on June 9, 2018 in Culver City, California.
Neilson Barnard / Getty Images for goop
If you want to attend Saturday's In Goop Health Summit, but want to waste your time rather than your money, you're in luck: Gwyneth Paltrow's Lifestyle Lifestyle brand organizers need free work.
The sold out event, which costs $ 400, while Paltrow will not attend, has put online a form announcing a "volunteer opportunity" at this weekend's Goop wellness event , the first outside the United States, at the Stanley Park Pavilion.
All they ask for is a mere 12 or 24 hour period, plus two hours of training and, we imagine, a sort of pseudoscientific purification ritual involving crystals.
And all they offer in return is a lousy Goop t-shirt, as well as meals and snacks – although it's Goop, it's hard to say if the food will feed you physically rather than simply emotionally.
Goop has built an empire that sells luxury "wellness" items that you could buy from a haunted apothecary, where nothing seems real. But Paltrow's company, which has been widely criticized for promoting and selling products and treatments that have no scientific basis or are recognized by the medical establishment as harmful or misleading, has reportedly generated more than $ 250 million. – more than enough to pay six-figure fine or, say, his staff of the event this weekend.
"No payment for this position" reads the badignment.
You give Goop money, not the opposite. And there are a lot of people from Vancouver giving Goop money.
"Some of our most ardent readers are actually a women's group in Vancouver," Goose CCO Elise Loehnen told Postmedia's Aleesha Harris this summer.
Douglas Bevans, the performance artist behind Hot Dog Water in Vancouver, plans to "picnic" in the area on the same day, parodying the company by touting the benefits of its "miracle" water for hot water. dogs.
But given the suggestibility of the Goop community, expect that even Hot Dog Water will earn money during its well-known "parody". Only you, Goop's humble volunteer, will go home empty-handed.
The job seems quite complicated and not very fun. The display indicates that the tasks consist mainly in managing the crowds and telling people where to go (directly to hell, if they question the science behind Goop's claims about health and well-being), while a questionnaire for voluntary aspirants poses two intensive questions.
"This position requires being able to stand for long periods of time," answers a question. "Are you able to do that?"
A second request: "Are you able to carry up to 30 pounds. if necessary to help repopulate or move the product?
There is no question of whether you know how to mix and brew a huge tank of snake oil, but one can imagine that it would be a real selling point.
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