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Photo: DIYAH PERA / NETFLIX / DIYAH PERA / NETFLIX
When I saw the title of this episode my first instinct was to write in my notes infinity, like a Netflix episode? Sorry, sorry, I’m going to stop. And credit where it’s due: this episode is awesome! It’s weird and unsettling, but it still has enough consistent logic to make sense. It’s a meta and has a lot of great jokes about the show we watch and the show on a show and TV in general, but not to the point of collapsing on its own. It’s fun and fan-service-y without sacrificing history; I think even if you weren’t a 90s fan Sabrina, the bit about aunts who are not the “real” aunts would still work. (However, if you’re new to Sabrinaland and disagree, tell me why in the comments!)
We are in the alternate cosmos, similar but not exactly like the one in which the Spellmans reside. In this world, Morningstar is the “new” Sabrina, suggesting before her an assembly line of Brinas who have been cut for unclear reasons – they are sent to “the Green Room,” whose purpose is initially a mystery to. us – and her whole life is a TV show. It’s not exactly a reality show; it’s more like the show is their whole reality. The whole world is a soundstage. No one is allowed to leave. Don’t change your lines. Everything that happens in the show becomes true in the world “outside” of the show, although we will find that there really is no outside world for most people in this cosmos. When Morningstar tries to walk around to clear her head, she discovers that the doors open onto brick walls. All the books are blank. Very Pleasantville!
An interesting little word on who’s in control here comes in the meals: it’s all tuna and canned milk. Hmm. Who do you know who could thrive on such a diet? If you guessed Salem the cat from the start, show up! (It took me a minute, I’m not too proud to admit it.)
Morningstar also realizes that she is trapped in a time loop. It is the same day in October every morning. Salem arrives and Morningstar asks if he can see his missing magic mirror and if he has ever heard of the Eldritch Terrors. He says he will work on the first but no dice on the second. HMM.
In the meantime, Morningstar tries to go with the flow as she seeks to determine what Terror she might be dealing with right now. (THERE WERE ONLY EIGHT. There are only two left, and one is the Void! Honestly, is it hard to remember? No one wrote this stuff?) While Morningstar Arrives on set, she finds out that her real aunts are here, but they are just replacements for her 90s aunts. Salem is a talking puppet and the star of the show. Lillith, or Wardwell, whoever she is here, assists Blackwood, the director. For today’s shoot, Morningstar is dressed as a cockroach. (“For your motivation,” Blackwood told him… revealing (sorry!), “Think Kafka.”)
Later, she goes to the set of Baxter High, where alternate reality versions of her friends await her. Harvey is her boyfriend on and off set – she reacts in shock to the “very unprofessional” language in her kiss, and Harvey responds that, duh, they’re together. “That’s awesome!” Morningstar is everything, aren’t you dating Roz? Roz’s perfect answer: “I wish! Writers would dream of giving me a boyfriend. (Nick, hidden in the background, is Harvey’s replacement.) Since in this world they are dating for real, Harvey invites Morningstar out later.
Morningstar tries to talk to her alternative-Hilda about her true identity: that she is married to the Prince of Hell and that she is the Queen, and that obviously makes her completely unbalanced. Hilda says, “The last show you were on sounds amazing,” but now they’ve scored some great gigs on “the longest show in history” meaning Morningstar has to give up her life before. and be fully engaged in … whatever it is.
At Harvey’s, over a dinner of milk and tuna (a great side dish), Morningstar realizes that Harvey has these stupendous Terrors doodles framed on his walls. This Harvey thinks they’re just a harmless gift from the art department. Oh, Harvey, an innocent dope in all dimensions. Harvey tells Morningstar he’s slipping scripts out of Wardwell’s filing cabinet early because it takes a while to learn his lines; could she rehearse with him? Reading, Morningstar realizes: This scene actually happened. Is that what Harvey said to Sabrina on her 16th birthday? Harvey suggests they watch the pilot together, and Morningstar is horrified to find that her real life (and, for us, the first seasons of that same show!) this cosmos, the spectacle they all put on. I love Harvey’s subconscious response to his panic. “I understand, I don’t like looking at myself either.”
Morningstar locks up and opens a door she is NOT supposed to open. Behind it is the green room. There is blood everywhere and it looks like a weird, almost underwater version of the funeral basement. Just corpses everywhere. Also: Ambrose! “Judging by your headband, you must be the new Sabrina.” Thank you HECATE this guy is here! Ambrose reports that he makes cat food for the Terror Eldritch. What terror is it? Infinity. The Endless… it’s SALEM. Well, that’s the kingdom and also Salem. It’s complicated but go ahead. Ambrose solved the case for Salem to banish him, and now all Ambrose does is put the bodies in a meat grinder and turn them into the food I guess is in all those tuna cans. Ambrose is defeated – he says there is nothing they can do because they are too a with Infinity. This is all very yikes.
The next day, Morningstar shoots a scene with Roz, who goes blind in the bathroom at Baxter High. Somehow, Prudence and Agatha are also here. That’s when Morningstar learns that what happens in the “show” is also happening to the inhabitants of the cosmos: here, Roz is really losing his sight. “Silver lining: at least being blind gives me a bow!”
At Craft Services Morningstar talks to her real aunts, who tell her they used to play the aunts – “hits, fan favorites” lol – but have been demoted. Sadly, they’re also unfamiliar with the Eldritch Terrors, but they do share this creepy little detail: The replacements sleep under the beds of the main characters. (Under Sabrina’s bed: Elspeth, wearing a platinum wig.)
That night, Morningstar discovers Caliban among the crew and throws herself into his arms. “We don’t have the right to talk to actors,” he told her, and also, he doesn’t even fail to be an actor. You see, in the cast, he “kept taking my shirt off and being objectified.” Is not it? He loves his new job, in which he decides when and if he should take his shirt off. Morningstar tells her that in another universe they are married and love always finds a way, and Caliban responds to that by… taking off his shirt. Never change, Caliban! Oh also he creates a void, which is the Void. The void! AAAHHH.
Morningstar wakes up Harvey, who helps him sneak into Wardwell to get tomorrow’s pages early. (In another good moment, Wardwell is sleeping on the couch because they never built a bedroom for his character.)
Morningstar brings the entire cast together to explain what is what. They need to find his magic mirror; they must escape before it is too late. She’s been here for maybe a day and a half and probably everything she says sounds totally messed up, but everyone needs to trust her. 90s aunts insist there is nothing to fear. The writers throw a big thing into the series every year! It doesn’t matter if it’s “the murder of a beloved character, or a wedding” or whatever you have: as’ 90s Zelda put it, “The truth is, nothing changes, everything resets.” How do they know this? The aunts of the 90s refuse to say it.
The next morning, Morningstar’s calendar shows that every day after this one is just… gone. When she arrives on set, her boyfriend has been replaced: Nick is now Harvey. Rumor has it Harvey was sent to the green room. Nick, very Method, does NOT like to be called Harvey. Morningstar stagnates being an actress in need with a lot of annoying questions for Blackwood, like “What’s my motivation, facing the Void?” Blackwood explains that he is simply the director and that the only person authorized to edit the script is the head writer, who is… who? No one knows or wants to say it. But Morningstar quickly discovers that the chief writer is, of course, Salem, the plush animatronic cat.
They have a great little back-and-forth where Morningstar explains everything we need to know and Salem retorts, “This is all an exhibition. Why are you telling me this? ”Salem thinks Infinity and Void can coexist, but Brina points out that all script pages are blank after the Void arrives.
While filming, Morningstar talks to ’90s fake aunts about preparing for the void, and she boldly steps out of the script. She says she’s going to the store to buy candles and basically all hell is breaking loose. It turns out the aunts of the 90s are maids of the void. As Morningstar and Salem run away, these aunts begin to look like the terrifying monsters they really are. In an extremely clever and equally exciting chase sequence, Salem “writes down” all of their off-duty tormentors – “Zelda suddenly twists her ankle!” – as they fight for freedom.
Morningstar wants to save the others but it is too late: Caliban is dead. Ambrose is dead. Nick is shirtless and drenched in blood, but it turns out he’s also a Void Servant who wants to be called Harvey now. “I am your only boyfriend. “Salem slides him a banana peel. Hey, why play with a classic?
Salem opens the door behind which Morningstar’s magic mirror waits, and they dive through and it shatters and then… dun dun DUNNNN to continue!
Current mysteries: I mean… literally everything ?! But my big question to which I hope our final answers are: can there really be two Sabrinas, or is it necessary that the Cosmos Balance for Morningstar perished in transit? I wonder if this season has tried to turn into a showdown for the Hell Throne and Morningstar’s demise means it will be Caliban vs. Lillith vs. Adam? Or are we just going to drop this plot line because, despite many opportunities and endless episodes, we’re finally out of time?
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