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Former bachelor Chris Soules is ready to talk about his involvement in this fatal accident near his farm in Iowa in 2017.
The wreck cost the life to Kenny Mosher, the 66-year-old man whose tractor was stuck by a pickup truck that drove Soules.
"The trauma of being involved in [the accident] is something that I can not describe, "said the 37-year-old farmer who became a star of reality PEOPLE in an interview published Wednesday. "I think about it every day."
"There is not a day going on that I would have liked to be able to do more or change the outcome of what happened," he added. "My vision of life has changed forever."
Soules has become a household name as a star of "The single person" in 2015, but it became known for various reasons after April 24, 2017.
The day began as usual.
That morning, Soules worked on a broken planter and inspected her property. In the evening, he went in a truck to pick one of his workers, who was at one of the ends of the family farm, to drive him to his seat.
"The next thing you know, I'm going to get into my van," said Soules, who according to PEOPLE can not discuss some of the details of the incident because of a recent civil settlement with the family Mosher. "I heard a voice [of a man who had witnessed the accident] by calling 911. "
Soules is identified with the emergency dispatcher and has followed the instructions. He went to an unconscious Mosher and began administering CPR.
"I was doing chest compressions and I continued to do CPR until I finally spit it out. [Mosher’s] blood, "recalls Soules. He was spitting blood in my mouth. At this point, I thought it did not seem to do much good. I was scared. And I remember thinking that he might not succeed. "When paramedics arrived," I remember praying [that he would be okay]. "
What happened next became a pivotal moment for Soules, both legally and publicly. He climbed into another truck, driven by one of his workers to the scene of the accident, and returned home.
"I had lost my mind," he explained. "I had the impression of doing everything that was in my power when I was there and I did not know what else to do, I did not know what was going on." It was gone, I did not know anything, I knew it was really bad and I was scared.
On returning home, Soules called his parents, who advised him to call a lawyer, who ordered him not to speak to the police until that lawyer was not present.
"I just followed his instructions," said the star of reality TV. "And I did not expect to see policemen at my door.In hindsight, I was accused of a crime.But I really did not know that there were any grounds for arrest at that time. "
Soules was arrested and accused of leaving the scene of an accident with a fatality, a crime. The conditions of his release from his initial court appearance included a 24-hour ankle monitor and an 11-hour monitor. curfew.
His charge was finally changed to leave an accident on the scene causing serious injury, considered an aggravated offense. Last month, Soules received two years of probation.
According to doctors, Soules would have bought beer on the day of the accident. Partially eaten alcohol containers were also found in the truck that he was driving at the time of the accident.
But Soules had an explanation.
He claimed that he often bought food and drinks for his many rented hands, and that the truck could have been used by any of his 15 employees or more. Three witnesses who were near the incident stated that they had not detected any alcohol on Soules. He took a blood test six hours after the accident and his blood alcohol level was recorded at 0.0.
"I've seen dark moments," said Soules about his days after the accident. "I am in the middle of nowhere and I am even more locked in isolation and guilt – I've often thought it would have been easier on the other side."
"I will live with [what happened] Always, he added. But I will continue and, as a result of the tragedy, do something bigger and better with my life. "
Now that the legal chapter of the trial is closed, Soules hopes to join the Mosher family to mourn the loss of their husband and father.
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