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"One day, coming out of nowhere, you start to smile and see everything in pink, if you are mutual, magic happens, but if you do not do it … you fall in limerencia".
This is what the Spanish linguist Laura García Arroyo explains in her book "Funderelele and other discoveries of the language".
García Arroyo refers to the infatuation in which pbadion, excitement, desire, fascination and a list of sometimes uncontrollable feelings and impulses appear.
And over there the limerencia arises. What is it exactly? Are we all or have we been victims? Do you have symptoms?
At BBC Mundo, we consult specialists.
"The obsession to be loved"
Limerence is the state of involuntary mind resulting from a romantic attraction for a person in whom an obsessive need for reciprocity is felt.
"It's the obsession to be loved. And this is considered a disorder because the person goes from love to obsession, "describes Marta Garrido González, clinical psychologist at Psicoóbros Málaga Psicoóbros center in Spain.
This disorder was christened as a difference by the American psychologist Dorothy Tennov after studying and publishing his findings in his book "Love and limerencia: the experience of being in love" (Love and Limerence: the experience of being in love), in 1979.
Specialized psychologists describe him as a Obsessive-compulsive disorder focused on loveclarifies Garrido González.
For Jennifer Vencill, psychologist specializing in therapy and badual health at the Mayo Clinic in the United States, limerencia is "an unintentional feeling, with obsessive thoughts, a desire and a search for correspondence," says.
What are the symptoms?
The person suffering from limerencia has obsessive thoughts with the person that he likes. And this obsession can cause discomfort in your daily life.
You may also be afraid of this person's rejection.
The limitation may be given to a person who has never been seen in person or with a person with whom a relationship is shared.
"In this last case, the obsessive person does not respect the space of the other", Says Garrido González to the BBC Mundo.
And among the physical symptoms, "the person goes to the consultation with a lot anxiety".
"You can present tremors, stuttering, sweating, typical to fall in love, but it's something that concerns him in all areas of his life, "says Garrido González.
And most importantly, "the person is really suffering," he adds, and this condition can last for years.
"Feeling attracted to others can become a problem when the obsessive factor occurs and interferes with our daily tasks, we can not work, we can not sleep, etc.," says Vencill.
If something like this happens to you and causes you problems in your life, it may be the right time to ask for help.
How is the craze different from limerencia?
"We are still investigating," Vencill told BBC Mundo.
As explained the specialist, at the beginning of the relationship, there is a period of "honeymoon", which can also apply with the limerencia, and that can last a few years.
Relationships then become more companions, more romantic, because "there is an overlap between the two, a gray area," adds Vencill.
But both psychologists agree that the big difference is that limerencia is not reciprocal because there are feelings of obsession, a bit of loneliness and the fear of feeling rejected.
Another point to note is that the person who suffers from a limitation usually does not recognize it.
"At lPeople who suffer from it find it difficult to realize it. They are obsessed with this person and that person loves them. It's very hard to detect because they do not realize themselves that they are obsessed, "describes Garrido González.
And he adds that people with disabilities can reduce their social life and isolate themselves from their environment.
Treatment
Psychological treatment is the recommendation.
"If limerency contributes to anxiety or depression, it can affect mental health and it is necessary to seek psychological help," says Vencill.
According to Garrido González, the first thing to do is to find the root of the problem, such as obsessive and recurrent thoughts.
And they give guidelines and strategies for the person to change the behavior resulting from obsessive thinking.
"If the person says "I'm afraid he's leaving me."& # 39; is the thought, the behavior is "Hold on to this person, do not let her go out" ", illustrates Garrido González.
"The first thing is Stop this thought and look for a distraction. Once you learn to distract yourself, the discomfort diminishes. "
Then gradually, the person becomes more rational. He does not let himself be carried away by emotions. And after that starts to take control, says the specialist.
Although the limitation is a very common experience, both experts point out that very little is still known and that more data and research are needed to understand it.
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