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CHER ABBY: I have known "Charlotte" for 17 years. She was a maid of honor at my wedding and we discuss and write regularly. I consider her as one of my best friends.
Charlotte had two difficult years and sank into depression. We live on both sides of the country, so I do not see her often in person, but I hear the change in our phone conversations. She even admits that she is in depression.
Recently she told me that she felt like she had no reason to live anymore and that she was planning to hurt herself. Because I live so far, I could not join her, so I could be there for her, but I called a mutual friend ("Sandy") who lives nearby and asked her to check my friend. Charlotte did not tell Sandy anything about how she felt or her thoughts of suicide and claimed that everything was fine.
I know things are not going well, and I'm extremely worried that Charlotte could get hurt in a moment of desperation. She has a therapist she sees on the occasion, and I urged Charlotte to be honest with her about her feelings. Charlotte says she's going to do it, but I do not know if she's really doing it.
How can I help him? Should I go visit her to show her that she has friends who love and support her? Is there anything else I can do to encourage him to stick to the council? – SICK INDIANA
CHER INQUIET If you know the name of the Charlotte Therapist, you can write the person a letter about your friend telling you that she thinks she has no reason to live anymore and is planning to hurt herself. Because of the privacy laws, the therapist may not be able to communicate with you, but at least she will know it. Whether Charlotte is serious or simply speaking is something her therapist would be better able to help than from afar.
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CHER ABBY: I am almost 50 years old and deeply regret a terrible decision made in the late twenties. I was married to my high school love when an older married man came into my life. He told me everything I wanted to hear and filled me with all the attention that I missed my husband. I got carried away by the fairy tale and I deeply hurt my husband, my true love.
Of course, nothing that the married man said was true. He never kept his promises. I knew that the case was wrong and that it usually did not happen, but I thought it was different and we would live happily ever after.
I try not to dwell on how my life would have been different if I had not fallen into starry eyes of a puppy love for this man. I only have to blame myself. Please warn your readers not to make the same mistake. Enjoy the life you have, especially when you are young. The grass is not greener on the other side. It may sound better, but believe me, there are a lot of hidden weeds. – ECHO IN GEORGIA
DEAR SENSÉ: Having a bond is never a good idea. Yours has taught you an important, hard-won lesson. Thank you for sharing it with my readers.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby to www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable – and most frequently requested – poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, along with a check or money order of $ 8 (in US dollars ) to: Dear Abby – Keepers Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling charges are included in the price.
COPYRIGHT 2019 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
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