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CHER ABBY: I am a licensed acupuncturist. One of my patients (also a man) asked me to dine and, as he looked like an honest guy, I decided to go there.
After we finished and the $ 60 bill arrived, he told me that he had forgotten his wallet and that I had to pay, which I did. After dinner, he took me home to show me some recent renovations and after 10 minutes he tried to kiss me. Fortunately for me, the date has ended well.
He asked me to go out next week. I thought everyone deserved a second chance, so I said yes. Well, this time he took me to a more expensive restaurant and – guess what? He forgot his wallet again. This time it cost me $ 90. After dinner, we wandered by the water and, when he tried to hug me, he threw my only pair of glasses into the river.
I do not know if it was planned or not, but since I had gone home, he knew I would not be able to legally drive to my home without my glasses. It forced me to spend the night at his place. That I can tell this story means that I survived that night, but what do you think? Does this guy look like a loser or what? – Stuck with the bill
CHER STUCK: This guy seems irresponsible or manipulative. At the very least, he should pay you back the glasses.
I do not know if it's ethical for you to go out with a client. According to the National Certification Commission for Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine, the provider should not have sexual contact with a patient if contact starts after establishing the practitioner-patient relationship. Because you do not trust his motives, you should not see him again socially.
CHER ABBY: I have been married for 28 years. In the past three years, I have survived a cancer diagnosis and a serious car accident. Earlier this year, I discovered that my wife was leading a double life. The doctor says it's because she's bipolar.
During the past year, she had five boyfriends, three online and two in person. Nothing that she has put online is reproducible because it is rated X. It appeared after a checkup and blood tests that resulted in a diagnosis of STDs. Now, my doctor wants to test me for HIV. HIV is permanent, no treatment. having him would destroy me.
I am still with my wife, but I have lost all respect. All I can think of is the way I've been betrayed and the short time that I have left. I do not have the money to ask for help. Can you recommend a way to help me? – TREATY SOUTH
DEAR ARABIA: You have gone through many things and I sympathize with you. Talk again with your doctor and, if so, let him test you.
HIV treatment has evolved considerably since the 1980s, when it was an automatic death sentence. Many HIV-positive people now lead a long and productive life because they have been tested and treated, so try to control your anxiety.
One last thought: If your wife refuses to seek help for her mental illness, then you should consult a divorce lawyer.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Cher Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Good advice for everyone – from teens to seniors – is in "The anger in each of us and how to deal with it". Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling charges are included in the price.)
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