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CHER ABBY: My father died recently. I wanted to make sure I was well dressed for his funeral and so I shopped for the most conservative outfit I could find. When I arrived at the service, I was surprised by what my sister-in-law was wearing. I told him that I did not think his dress was appropriate for the occasion. It was tight and all in lace. I told her that what she was wearing looked like something from a cocktail party.
Once the words came out of my mouth, I knew that I should not have said anything. I immediately apologized and said that she looked really good in the dress, which was flattering and rather sexy. My brother called the next day. He was furious and said that he had chosen it.
I think at a funeral, the dress should be like what you would wear at the church or at a work meeting. I may be wrong. I know I should have kept my opinion to myself and regret the comment I made. Should I let time heal that? She and my brother are extremely unhappy. – said no to the dress
Dear, say no: When people are in mourning, they sometimes make comments that they would not do otherwise. Apologize to both for your lack of thought and your insensitivity, and hope that they will forgive you.
Many years ago, I attended the funeral of a friend who died in thirty years, died of a tragic accident. John's mother was friends with mine and we went to support her. John's fiancée, "Linda", was a person I knew too. When she showed up dressed in an orange mini dress, her mother was dismayed. She told me that she thought it was very disrespectful. When I later asked Linda why she chose this dress, her response made me want to cry. She said that she had worn it because it was John's favorite dress and that he liked to see it in it. I learned a lesson that day: the dress of someone at funerals is much less important than what she has in the heart.
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CHER ABBY: I am a passionate reader. Whenever I find an article or an interesting story that I believe will appeal to someone, I cut out the article or copy the link and send it to that person. My problem is, I do not think they ever read what I send them.
When I raise it during an informal conversation because I think it would be nice to discuss, I find that the person did not read it and said, "Oh, yes, I'll read it," but I do not do it think they never do. Is sharing invasive? Do people read more? Should I stop sending articles and stories? – GOING TO NEW YORK
DEPENDING: You can do too much in your desire to share. If someone tells you twice that he / she has not read what you have sent, stop.
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CHER ABBY: Graduation is fast approaching and pressure is strong. I'm good at school, but work and school drain all my energy. How can I not be so tired? I can not stop working and I really need to be in school. Can you give me some tips for managing the weather so I do not get so tired? – Tired in South Carolina
Dear, tired: Recognize that you are running a kind of marathon. Establish a seamless schedule that allows you to take the rest you need without drifting away I'm not saying it will be fun, but it will help you reach your goal without making you sick.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby to www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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COPYRIGHT 2019 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
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