Dear Abby, Divorced for two years, the man always insists that his ex and his child take gay pictures with him.



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CHER ABBY: I'm engaged to a wonderful woman who has a 6 year old daughter with her ex-husband. They share shared custody.

His controlling nature was a major factor in his decision to end their marriage. Even now, after divorcing more than two years, he tries to control his life. One of the solutions is to emphasize the images of the three at each event where they are all present. First day of school, diplomas, etc., he must have his picture taken with his fiancée and their daughter, as if they still formed a big happy family.

He is now engaged to someone too. I can only assume that her fiancée must find these "not a family" pictures as strange as my fiancee and myself.

The reason we did not stop him when he insists on these pictures is that we think it might be that his daughter has pictures of herself with her parents. But we dread each event because we know it's going to wait for it. Will it hurt the girl to stop him the next time that he insists on this situation becoming more and more uncomfortable? – IN THE IMAGE, ALSO

DEAR IMAGE: Because this practice made your fiancée uncomfortable, she should have put an end to this from the beginning. She should not do anything that makes her feel uncomfortable. One way to solve the problem without making any waves would be to wait for the wedding of your fiancee – and her ex-fiancée – and make a group photo of the whole reconstituted family.

CHER ABBY: My husband and I will be celebrating our 22nd wedding anniversary on the 7th of next month. My brother divorced after five years of marriage and is now remarrying with a justice of the peace. Her "bride" is also divorced and it will be a second marriage for both. They had originally planned to get married on the 3rd of the month, but changed the date to 7 to indicate that they could not find another date that works.

The last time I checked, there were 31 days in the month. Our parents do not understand why I am angry that my brother is planning to get married on my wedding anniversary. I think it is my special day, the one that I won after 22 years of marriage. My brother and his fiance could easily choose another date. Am I petty or is my brother unreasonable? – IT'S MY DAY IN MICHIGAN

DEAR DAY: I'm glad you asked. You make a mountain of a molehill. You do not own the seventh of next month.

Rather than trying to annoy you, you should hope that your brother and fiancee have the same good fortune and years of happiness that you and your husband have enjoyed. Their birthday will not affect yours.

The most significant wedding gift you can offer them would be to wish them all the happiness possible on this special day – for all of you – and stop looking for the drama where there is none. Celebrate your birthday next month at a time that's right for you and your husband.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Dear Abby's Favorite Recipes". Abby, Cookbooklet Set, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling charges are included in the price.)

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