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DEAR ABBY: I have a 22 year old daughter from my first marriage and a 9 year old son with my 12 year old husband. My husband is 57 and I just turned 41. I would love to have another baby, mainly because I want my 9 year old to have someone to grow up with. We have no other family. It’s just him and his 9 and 5 year old cousins. Can you tell me if my husband and I are OK or too old to have another child? – CONSIDER THE ONE IN THE WEST
DEAR CONSIDERING: I’m glad you wrote. This is something that should be discussed in more detail with your husband to make sure you are on the same page, as well as with your OB-GYN.
If your intention is for your children to grow up together, this is something that should have happened years ago. As it stands, the 10-year age difference will mean your son will grow up and leave while your youngest child is still at home.
A doctor who specializes in genetics may be able to help you gather information. It is important that you understand what precautions it may be wise to take before making this decision.
DEAR ABBY: I have this dilemma. I’m a woman in my forties with a good job, and I’m told I’m a good catch. About six months ago I moved in with a man I’ll call Peter. It started out as a roommate situation, but then became friends with benefits. We both agreed that we are not a couple.
The problem is, Peter has a friend, “Reggie”. I like Reggie and he likes me. We hung out several times as a group. To my knowledge, Reggie has no idea that Peter and I are FWBs.
Reggie recently invited me to dinner on a date. I can see myself having a real relationship with him, but I don’t know how Peter is going to react. Should I accept the invitation? I mean, it’s just a date. Also, should I mention this to Peter? – FWB SOUTH
Dear FWB: You and Peter have agreed that you are NOT a couple. Accept Reggie’s offer and be frank with Peter about it. The only thing that could change would be that Peter will have to find another friend with benefits because the sexual aspect of your relationship with him may be over.
DEAR ABBY: I care a lot about what friends, family – even the general public – do with their money. Specifically, I promote the benefits of owning a home, but I suspect my efforts to educate them may require a more loving approach. I just don’t want the people I care about to throw their money at their owners. Do I need to be more loving and supportive than to educate? – COMMUNITY ASSISTANCE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR HELP: People usually have good reasons for renting instead of buying. If you keep repeating your advice and it falls on deaf ears, it’s fair to conclude that your post isn’t appreciated. A saying widely attributed to Albert Einstein is: “Insanity keeps repeating an action over and over again but expects different results.” You can volunteer to serve as a counselor, but only if they want to make a change and ask for your help.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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