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DEAR ABBY: Several years ago my teenage nephew “Jim” gave my youngest son his collection of trading cards. It had grown too big for the game, and my son was just starting to take an interest in it. Before Jim gave them out, my brother (his dad) suggested that some of the cards might be of value and Jim should check before giving them away. Instead, Jim decided to hand them all over.
It turns out that part of the collection is quite valuable, and we could sell them for a significant sum. I’m inclined to do this and donate the profits to my son’s college fund, which would really help us. The question is, should I split it up and send half to my nephew?
Usually, a gift is up to the recipient to do as they wish, but Jim was just a kind-hearted kid when he made this gift, and he thought more about playing the game than the money. He has left school now without any debt and is established in a job. What do you think? – ACT OF KINDNESS
DEAR ACT OF KIND: Jim doesn’t need the money from selling these cards, but it could make a big difference to your son. Since you asked for my opinion, I suggest you offer at least some of the money to Jim.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. When we first started dating, I would have a drink every now and then. He said he chewed tobacco, but I never saw him do it. We agreed that I wouldn’t drink and he wouldn’t chew. I later found out that he continued to do this about twice a year. I feel misled.
He doesn’t want me to drink because of some incidents with his family when he was young. I pointed out to him that it was controlling, but he insists it is not. There are times when I would like to have a drink at family celebrations, and I can’t and it’s embarrassing. Do I really have to be held to something that I accepted when I was 20 and something? – UNDER CONTROL IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR UNDER CONTROL: It might be time to review the deal you made with your husband. If he gives up, you are free to do whatever you want. If these “incidents” involved his family, they have nothing to do with yours. And you shouldn’t be prevented from enjoying an alcoholic drink at your family celebrations whenever you want.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter is married to a very nice man, but she’s a know-it-all. When we have a conversation he is always “right” and ignores my point of view. I know my daughter is upset about it but, of course, she takes her side. I tried to be close to him, but he can’t take a joke or let anyone have a different opinion than his. They have two beautiful children who I love to watch twice a week. What can I do? – NEVER JUST IN THE WEST
DEAR EVER RIGHT: What you should do is start dwelling on the positive. Thank your lucky stars that the know-it-all is a good husband and father. Accept the fact that you will probably never be closer to him than you are now and enjoy watching your beautiful grandchildren.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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