Dear Abby, The girl's grandparents have no idea of ​​her existence. Is it time to tell them?



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CHER ABBY: My 7-year-old granddaughter, Hannah, is the light of my life. Her mother left her when she was 2 years old and her mother's parents do not know she exists. Her mother has hidden her pregnancy and childbirth and the child has been living with us since birth.

My heart has always been broken for his maternal grandparents. I could not imagine not knowing Hannah and missing her life. I've always wanted to send them photos or even introduce them (they do not live far from us). My husband says it's not our place and we risk that they try to get some kind of custody.

Currently, my son and Hannah's mother share legal custody, but he has full physical custody. His mother has not been in contact for at least five years.

Hannah starts asking questions about her mother and we have always been honest with her. She will soon put things in place and realize that she has another group of grandparents. Should we inform them of their grandchild? – KEEP A SECRET IN THE EAST

DEAR HOLDING: Because your son has full physical custody of Hannah, talk to him about your concerns. Hannah's maternal grandparents have been in the dark for so long that the news of her existence can only be a real bombshell. There is a reason why their daughter did not want them to know her, and as you have pointed out, there could be legal consequences. Since Hannah is now asking about her mother, her father should be prepared to answer for her. As well as you are well intentioned, this case belongs to your son, not you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a teenager. "Chloe" and I have been friends since the first year. Even though we went to different high schools and made other friends, we always stayed close and spent the summer holidays with each other's family.

We are now junior in high school. Last summer, she told me that she was a lesbian and that she shared all her feelings with me. I understand her and we are always close friends, sharing each other's secrets. His family knows and accepts his sexual orientation like me and my family.

Three months ago she met a partner and I was really happy for her. Unfortunately, her partner must feel worried about our friendship because she turned Chloe against me. Chloe does not return my calls or SMS anymore.

My friend and confidant miss me a lot and I can not do without it. How can I overcome my loss? I can not understand why we can not all be friends. I do not know what to do. – MISSING MY BESTIE IN FLORIDA

DEAR MISSING: You can not all be friends because Chloe's girlfriend is threatened by the long-standing relationship you have had with her. It has nothing to do with you; it is a reflection of the insecurity and the possessiveness of the girl. If things do not work with Chloe's girlfriend, it's quite possible that she will come back into your life. Do not burn any bridges, but continue to build relationships with others. This will help calm the loneliness you feel.

CHER ABBY: I would like to organize a party for his 70th birthday, but I do not want guests to think that I'm doing it for gifts. What should I do? – S & # 39; AMUSER

Dear Look: Include with the invitations: "The only gift I need is the gift of your presence."

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby to www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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