Dear Abby: The man with whom I'm going out, drops a bomb – he and his ex are still married


CHER ABBY: I'm going out with someone right now and, although it has not been this long, everything has been great so far. We each have two children from previous relationships. We discussed marriage, the birth of our own child, and even adoption.

One day he told me that he wanted to tell me something. He ended by saying that before embarking on the army, he had "had to" marry his ex. The problem is that although they live apart for three years, she is not her ex. They are still married.

He said that they had no interest in being together and that they were both gone. When I asked when he was going to divorce, he replied that he did not have the financial means to do so. I do not know how to take this news. No advice? – THROW TO NEVADA

EXPECTED JET: You need more information. Has this man supported his ex all this time or is he autonomous? Who supports children? How much money does he think he owes if they divorce?

I do not know Nevada's divorce laws, but a lawyer licensed to practice in that country will be. Make an appointment with one of them to discuss what your boyfriend has told you. You should do it before becoming more involved with it.

DEAR ABBY: II write in the hope that you will print my letter and, with your response, will educate your audience about breast cancer in humans. A male family member has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and, in addition to the problems that everyone has recently diagnosed, another problem is stress.

As breast cancer in humans is so rare, all brochures and information are aimed at women. As a result, my parent feels very lonely. Apart from his family, he does not want anyone, including members of his church, to know his diagnosis, because he is afraid of what they will think. Encouragement such as telling him that his friends can offer additional support and prayers have not been successful so far.

Abby, can you share with your readers information and resources for men with breast cancer? We would be very grateful. – FAMILY MEMBER

DEAR CARING: There is online information on breast cancer in men. If your parent will visit and do a search on breast cancer in humans, he will discover an abundance of information on the subject. For suggestions on support groups, he should call the American Cancer Society's helpline: 800-227-2345.

Your family member is not alone. I wish him a quick and complete recovery.

CHER ABBY: I worked twice and took time for my second job so I could monitor my four grandchildren for a week when their parents had to leave the country. They called the 14-year-old newspaper, but they never called me nor talked during this time. Am I grumpy or disrespectful? – Feel like a salad

Dear feelings like dirt: I do not blame you for being angry. It was unthinking and ungrateful of them not to ask to talk to you for a minute. However, if they did not respect you, I'm sure they would not have left you their precious children.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Good advice for everyone – from teens to seniors – is in "The anger in each of us and how to deal with it". To order, send your name and mailing address, along with a check or money order of $ 8 (US Dollars) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling charges are included in the price.)

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