Dear Abby, The Oregon man is chronically late and his girlfriend is So. More than. he



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CHER ABBY: I've been dating my boyfriend for six months and in many ways he's a great guy. One thing that annoys me though, is its delay.

This man can not arrive in time to save his life. I arrived home for a date only to find that he has not even arrived home yet. He is usually more than 30 minutes late for our meetings.

I've talked about it many times and I feel like I'm fed up, but it's so disrespectful and rude to treat others this way. I am annoyed to the point of breaking up with him for this reason alone. Is my reaction justified? – EARLY OREGON

DEAR OLD: Your boyfriend is extremely disorganized or just rude. If he has not been able to change plans for six months, he is unlikely to do so. However, you can change the way you react. Because you know it's late, get ready accordingly so you do not have to wait. However, if you can not do it, then, rather than letting him continue to stress you, end the romance.

CHER ABBY: My longtime friend "Charlotte", 30, lives across the country. I have just learned that her husband, "Harold", is transgender and is becoming "Helen".

When they come, they always stay with us for several days as they can not afford a hotel. My husband is now very uncomfortable with their stay here or to be seen in public with them. Is there a way to tell Charlotte to come alone while saving friendship? Or should I let them come and take care of my husband's feelings, which seems unfair to me? – UNJUST IN THE WEST

CHEER UNJUST: Talk to your husband and explain to him that he does not have to socialize more than he is comfortable if his friends visit him. If he still refuses, why do not you and visit them this year? You can stay in a hotel while you adjust to the adjustment made by Harold.

I guess your husband and Harold were friendly before. Maybe if he and Harold have the chance to talk, your husband can overcome his discomfort. It could be a valuable learning experience for him. Your support right now would be a great gift for this couple.

CHER ABBY: My 22-year-old sister is uncomfortably attached to a cable TV channel. She will only watch this channel and is obsessed with love stories and relational movies. It goes well beyond a simple "like" for something, and I'm afraid it uses it to avoid developing real relationships. She has few friends and has never been in a relationship. I tried to make him stop watching, but it never ends well. How can I help to get away from the TV and to enter the real world? – FANTASY VS. REALITY IN FLORIDA

CHER F. VS. A: Watch romantic movies with a happy ending guarantee (if only life was really like that!) Is your sister's "safe" way to vicariously appreciate idealized relationships. Continue to encourage him to take risks and join the real world by inviting him to join you in social groups. But until she realizes that she has to do it, it will not happen. The consultation might help, but she will not accept it until she herself acknowledges that she needs help to develop the social skills she lacks and is willing to look for her.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby to www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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