Director Lulu Wang about 'The Farewell & # 39; and how to break bad news

L & # 39; farewell is a movie with a wedding in the center – but the wedding is not really history.

The new film features American rapper and actress Awkwafina, an American of American descent, Billi, who travels with her family from the United States to China to ostensibly celebrate her cousin's wedding. Really, it's goodbye to Nai Nai, his beloved grandmother. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in Nai Nai and his family decided not to tell him.

For many Americans, the premise seems likely ridiculous or even cruel – but is it? This is one of the questions posed by writer and filmmaker Lulu Wang, whose second feature is surprisingly funny for a topic on terminal cancer. L & # 39; farewell is based on its own true story – or "based on a real lie", as the film says – a story she told for the first time This American life.

"I felt very upset [at the time it happened], "Wang said in an interview." And it was also so confusing because I was sad, but then I had to move on to decide if I would support this plan or not. And despite all that, I wanted to see my grandmother. But then, if I went to see her as part of this marriage trick, if I could not hold back my emotions? And that's something my mother warned me about: it was that I was pretty transparent about what I felt often and that she was afraid I would reveal that secret. "

Highlights of the interview

Why the retention of such bad news is a common practice in China

I think it's very, very common. I only learned that after … when I started telling the story and doing some research. I had done a podcast for This American lifeSo when that came out, a lot of people came to me and said, "Oh my God, I thought my family was crazy because they did that!" And there were not only Asian families, they were people from all over the world.

And I think these older cultures do it because there is a connection between the mind and the body in which they believe – that the mind really affects the physique. And more concretely, my great aunt, who plays herself in the movie, said, "You know, if you announce bad news to someone, he's going to become depressed, he's not going to eat; And when you do not sleep, when you do not eat, it affects your health. "So, you can really, very literally, scare somebody to death.

And so, there is even their consideration, that is when there is bad news, you should never tell a person at night, because she will not be able to handle it in the night. Darkness, when there is no sun and that she can do it t sleep The best thing to do is to tell them to do it in the morning so that they have all the day to treat it. And I just felt like: Wow, that really makes sense. I do not know if I've ever thought of that. I did not know that we lived in a culture that took a lot of attention on how to announce bad news.

On the casting of his real big aunt ("Little Nai Nai") to play himself

It was amazing – I always thought that she was so wonderful. She has an amazing face filled with joy. She is so light, and no matter how much she carries, she never wants to give it to anyone in the family. She will wear it herself. And it is a huge burden, because normally in China, it is the children who take care of his mother. But because my Nai Nai and her two sons live abroad, Little Nai Nai – [who] is the youngest in the family – was responsible for looking after his older sister.

So I wanted to include it in the film so that the entire film is fully reproduced in reality. It's she who decided to lie to Nai Nai. And his presence also allowed the actors to ask questions. You know, how did this happen in real life? Am I doing a good job? Do I correctly represent your loved ones? …

In fact, she was very respectful of my position as a director because she did not want to do the film at first. She would always be very self-depreciating, in a fun way. But she said, "Ugh, my big face, I do not want to ruin your movie, why would you do that?"

This film comes out at a time when US politicians identify China as a threat

I mean, it's something people talk about, that's for sure, and politics often goes into dinners, even if I try to avoid them. And I will say this – that some members of my family, especially those living in America, do not necessarily disagree with this political position. But politics must be separated from the individual, from the staff. My parents had their own reasons for leaving China and very much believed that I would have a better life here. And I am very convinced that they did the right thing. I do not think I would have been a filmmaker if I had stayed.

But of course, it is impossible to know that. And one of the things I explore in the film is that we tell stories to justify our own choices. So, whatever your decision, you'll find stories or posters stating "I've done the right thing" because we have to believe that we've done the right thing to survive.

But you know, for me, the film really deals with effects on family and personal life, regardless of politics, nationalism or your identity. At the end of the day, it is always a family and everyone feels the pain of losing what you lose when you immigrate, as well as the links you lose and all the gaps that occur – that it is a gap between generations, cultural gap, it is a little reality.

What his parents think about the movie

My parents saw the movie. They have seen it three times now. The first time they saw it was at Sundance [Film Festival] …

I think you should ask them – maybe they will be more honest if other people ask for it. But someone in the audience at Sundance said, "What did you think, mom and dad?" And my dad said, "That's good enough!" And everyone laughed. And my mother is – in fact, she is very honest. And I think she's very proud of me – I'm sure she would have approached the film in a very different way, but that's also the reality … she has a different perspective of the China, a different perspective of America. And the story is not told from his point of view.

But in the end, I think they are really proud. Especially because when my dad read the screenplay for the first time, he said – I wanted to make sure that they were aware of what I put in the film and that they were d & # 39; Agree with that – and he said, "Yeah, all this is very authentic, very accurate, but why would anyone care?" You know, in some ways he thought that I would dramatize things more and romanticize them to make them more exciting. I mean, he looks Die hard and these types of movies. … He did not understand why these very ordinary details of our family life would interest anyone. And it's the most wonderful thing to show her, to show Little Nai Nai, that our stories deserve to be shown on the big screen – and that people care about it.

Eliza Dennis and Natalie Friedman Winston produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Patrick Jarenwattananon adapted it for the Web.