David Beckham: Debate Kiss – Society

David Beckham has done it again. And again a debate on whether parents are allowed.

Christmas is coming, love party. A father posts a picture of himself and his daughter on Instagram. Both are equipped with a thick layer of artificial ice in the background, on which the skaters surround a decorated Christmas tree. The photo not only gets over two million likes, it also causes outrage. The first is the father, David Beckham, whose publications are followed on Instagram by more than 52 million people. Second, the former football star kisses the mouth of his daughter Harper.

Once again, you must say. Is Beckham a loving father – or a recidivist? Thousands of users are currently discussing to find out if he went too far. If it's okay, if fathers kiss their daughters – and even their parents – their children. As always, there is such a (celebrity) photo on social media. In 2017, this was the case when David Beckham published a kiss photo of himself and his then seven-year-old daughter. Or the year before, when Mother Victoria Beckham published a very similar selfie on Instagram.

It was not until October that the American model Amber Rose unleashed a crappy storm with a kiss on the mouth of her son Sebastian, 5 years old: the subject was "make-up" and "harbad". Not to mention the latest emotions of the world of German celebrities: a video on Instagram, published in September by Til Schweiger and his daughter Lilli, 21 years old. More than 580,000 people have already seen the kiss, 2280 comments.

An effective public relations measure when you have a new movie to promote. Nevertheless, the 54-year-old actor faced a real debate. Because the uncertainty is there and that it is great. It is not uncommon for strangers to get angry when they see parents and children kissing each other.

On relevant forums, worried parents ask if a kiss in the mouth is correct or dangerous. Some see it as an intimate act reserved for adults. Others think that it is the expression of a deep affection. And most importantly, a private matter. Not so private: in daycares, it can happen that parents are asked not to kiss their children on the mouth, but rather on the cheek or forehead.

The Austrian playwright Franz Grillparzer had a pretty good idea of ​​the time and reason for a kiss where: "On the hands embraces the respect / friendship on the open forehead / on the cheek Well pleased / Salt 'ge love on the mouth (…), "he wrote in 1819 in his poem" Kuss ". That the affection between parents and children comes under "salt Liebe" is not in the poem.

John Watson, a behavioral scientist, advised parents to completely give up on children by kissing them: "If you have to do it, kiss them once on the forehead, if you want a good night's sleep," writes the psychologist. the scientific article "Child Psychological Care" – and recommended for the morning reception: "shake your hand in the morning." It was in 1928. But how is it that in West, a kiss between a parent and his child fuels their spirit?

Finding an answer to this question is complicated. Even the experts do not agree on the subject. As the Australian Daily mail Two psychologists interviewed on the subject, one, Fiona Martin of the University of Sydney, said that "anything that promotes emotional attachment" should be allowed. It is absurd to believe that a kiss from parents could be perceived as badual. American child psychologist Charlotte Reznick warned, however, of the risk of irritating or stimulating children with this "badual behavior".

What is the next step – that mothers are not allowed to badfeed their children for more than three months? Could it be that someone badociates sucking on the chest with something reserved for adult couples. This is one of the problems of the discussion: the lack of objectivity – as well as the polarizing attitude with which parents are condemned as a lump sum. There, childish affection and eroticism mingle, as if it were about sensual kisses with open lips. And not a pout with a strong pout – the kind that an adult lover might consider without conviction.

"We'd better use this opportunity to think about the relationships of their children and their parent-child relationship," Regina Stolz said. With her many years of experience as a family and children's psychologist, she knows that only a few parents are deliberately looking for a conversation with their children. Even young children should learn to express their needs, for example to avoid abuse – even in the following years: "Even adults often find it difficult to communicate their own space of well-being or to make themselves understood clearly later, "says Stolz.

In other words, the children decide what suits them. It's up to adults alone to orient themselves – especially when the denial is communicated non-verbally. Rather than confuse them with misinterpreted care and interference, adults should encourage children to behave confidently and independently.

Whatever it may be, one may wonder in what world we actually live, in which every gesture of affection is immediately badualized. "I think it's totally grotesque, (…) that people think my dad would push me to kiss him," said Til Schweiger's daughter, Lili. galaThat would have ended the debate.

Maybe it's not the kiss on the mouth that's bad, but the badociation – which is known to be in the minds of others. As a result, the abnormal would be in the eye of the beholder, according to the motto "evil, who thinks evil".