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Kirsten, 22, knew that something strange was happening around eight weeks of pregnancy. The clbadic symptoms of the first trimester, such as weight gain, food aversions and nausea, all arrived as expected – but she was not the only one to be affected.
His partner, 23-year-old Silas, was experiencing similar physical changes. He began to gain weight and feel repelled by familiar foods. While Kirsten's morning sickness was needed, he was equally debilitated with nausea. "I felt sick every day for weeks," he says.
At first, Kirsten was skeptical. She was concerned that Silas' symptoms were a complex joke or that he was insensitive. "But over time, I realized that he was really in pain," she says. "The nausea was the worst. He was much worse than me. I ended up sharing my nausea medications so that he could spend the day.
Silas' experience was not an abnormal phenomenon. He had Couvade Syndrome, otherwise known as a "pregnancy of sympathy". This mysterious disease – yet surprisingly common – causes the pregnant woman's partners to manifest the physical and psychological symptoms of the pregnancy. People with the syndrome report abdominal pain, morning sickness, bloating and lethargy, as well as mood swings, memory loss and depression. In more extreme cases, they may even experience a pseudocyte, in which their stomach swells throughout their partner's pregnancy, before retracting after birth.
For Kalu, 25, the symptoms were brief, but they took everything. During the first trimester of his partner's pregnancy, he had to deal with extreme anxiety and nausea. "My stomach was turning around and turning," he says. "I had been vomiting for days. The only thing I could eat were liquids, such as water and fruit smoothies.
It is easy to dismiss these men as simply melodramatic, especially when we compare the Couvade syndrome to the intense physical tension of a true pregnancy. This is perhaps why there is so little research on the causes.
"I do not think people understand the nature of the disease," says Dr. Arthur Brennan, a senior lecturer in nursing at the University of Kingston, who has written several research papers on the disease. "It kind of overlaps the boundary between a mental disorder and a physical disorder. This does not fit in one or the other category. "
The research is surprising: a study found that up to 52% of American fathers would present some symptoms of Couvade syndrome, of which 59.1% in Jordan and up to 61% in Thailand. In Poland, a 2013 study found that 72% of future fathers may have at least one symptom related to pregnancy. The lack of research in the United Kingdom means that recent statistics are scarce, but the estimates of the early 1970s projected rates between 11% and 50%. Of course, there is plenty of room for interpretation when symptoms such as mood swings and depression are involved.
The syndrome is not a modern syndrome. There are references to Couvade rituals in Corsica, Cyprus, Papua New Guinea and the ancient Iberian Peninsula, dating back to 50 BC. In some cases, they even wore their partner's clothes, moaned, screamed and complained of laboring pains.
Couvade syndrome is not limited to heterobadual couples, although they constitute the majority of reported cases. Dr. Bartlomiej Piechowski-Jozwiak, a neurologist at Cleveland Clinic Abu Dhabi, explains that the most serious case of Couvade Syndrome he has ever heard of occurred via a vet: "A Woman developed a variant of Couvade Syndrome triggered by her dog's pregnancy: the symptoms of the syndrome, and she knew that she was not pregnant. "
So, what is causing Couvade Syndrome? For a long time, it was believed that it was purely psychological. Some of the first explanations, rooted in psychobadytic theory, suggested that the symptoms were born of man's desire for the woman's reproductive capacity. Others have suggested that this could be a way of diverting attention to the man, who may feel indifferent or marginalized during pregnancy.
But more recent studies have suggested that Couvade syndrome may be related to empathy and attachment. Symptoms, it seems, are more common in men who invest more in their unborn baby and participate more in pregnancy.
This was the case of 32-year-old Mike. The tattoo artist had Couvade Syndrome with Amanda's three pregnancies, her morning sickness, morning sickness, pseudocyte, exhaustion and exacerbated emotions. He thinks it may be because of the proximity of the couple. "We breathe each other's air constantly," he says. "We have two businesses together, we live together, we work together and we have children together, so we are very close. We also spend a lot of free time together because we are friends. "
There are possible physical explanations for Couvade's syndrome. What we know from the very few studies that have been conducted so far is that the hormonal levels of men vary considerably during the prenatal period. Testosterone tends to decrease while estrogen and prolactin increase.
"I would say that my estrogen levels were everywhere when Amanda was pregnant," says Mike. "I was an emotional sinking."
"My training program has practically stopped because I did not feel like I had the desire or the energy. I am really a type with testosterone: I am angry at the gym and I train hard and often. But when Amanda is pregnant, it stops. My "need" simply disappears. I'm just emotional and lazy, and eat cake. "
Dr. Robin Edelstein, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, has studied these hormonal changes in future fathers. She suggests that lowering testosterone may be at the root of some symptoms. "A drop in testosterone is badociated with weight gain and depression," she says. "It could [also] to make men more supportive, more invested in their relationship and better prepared to become parents ".
"A number of studies have shown that testosterone is lower," says Brennan, "while prolactin tends to increase. The link, or apparent trigger, is found in men who have the greatest concern or responsiveness to the unborn baby. This could perhaps be due to empathy, but it could also be due to anxiety. "
But for people with Couvade Syndrome, it's not really about finding answers. Instead, the priority is to remove the stigma surrounding the disease and to recognize it as a legitimate part of the pregnancy process.
"I do not really think it's a motive for research," says Mike. "Obviously, some people can crack or say that I'm trying to steal the thunder in Amanda's pregnancies. And yes, it's her pregnancies, but I can not deny what's going on. "
The syndrome should rather be celebrated as a symbol of intimacy between two parents (the couple is currently working on a book on how to stay close during pregnancy, which is to credit this experience). "Couvade's syndrome has taught me to be more compbadionate. to better understand what Amanda was going through – not only physically but also mentally, "he says. "Maybe Couvade's syndrome will give men a better understanding of what a woman is going through when she pushes her body to the extreme."
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