10 worst Halloween costume ideas

Halloween is a magical time for kids to dress up and collect candy as adults pay homage to their favorite pop icons and get drunk in silly outfits.

Before you start thinking about this year’s Halloween costume, we recommend that you read this list which outlines the pitfalls, dangers, and bad ideas for Halloween costumes.

10. Sexy couple costumes
The electrical outlet and the socket. Adam and Eve. Bread in the oven. Neither of us wants to imagine you putting the “p” in the “v”, so drop that already.

Oh yeah, there are nine more after the jump …

9. The costume that has character

There’s always at least one of those assholes at the party who spends the evening staying in character.

To all the old high school thespians, drop that shit immediately. That’s a factor of five thousand for anyone unfortunate enough to be in the same room as you.

8. Obscure references
One year this writer thought it would be really great to play the part of Little Edie Beale. Nobody understood it. Rule of thumb: If it takes more than one sentence to explain who you are to others, you fail miserably.

7. The curtains
Or anyone from Mad Men, moreover. Why? Because people have been doing this since the show started, uh, three years ago.

This means that other people have beaten you for three years in a row. They should rename this costume “horribly out of touch”.

6. Lady Gaga Meat Dress

We admire the idea, we really do. But by no means should this sort of thing happen in real life. Unlike Lady Gaga, you won’t have an entourage of wardrobe attendants to help you get in and out of the thing.

And we’re guessing you won’t be able to afford to replace the couch you sit on during the Halloween party you’re going to. Meat coat = impression of a piece of meat.

5. Zombie, Ninja or Pirate
At some point, between the middle and the end of the month, America became fascinated by these three characters. Can we already get over it? Please? It is getting a little out of control.

4. Three-dimensional costumes

Tetris pieces, a pair of dice, or Ralph Macchio’s costume from

The Karate Kid

are going to give you all kinds of problems.

These are fun concepts that are totally impossible to deal with when you are in a room with other human beings. You will eventually give up on this within the first 20 minutes.

3. A black person (if you are not black)
So you took a race relations course in college and now you feel like you can push some boundaries, don’t you? Congratulations. You just made everyone in the room really uncomfortable.

2. Catwoman, Robin Hood or costumes that require spandex

Alright, so you practice. You’ve lost a few pounds and think you can pull off this full body spandex costume. Well, we can promise you that you’re wrong, wrong, wrong. Don’t fall for this trap. I speak from experience here. I spent an entire night in 2008 slowly realizing that I didn’t quite have the body to be an Olympic ribbon dancer. It’s a horrible feeling.

1. A giant baby
Get away from me, you fucking nuts.