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I am in the early 70s and have four beautiful grandchildren in their teens. I am so depressed on the world in which they grow up. I know that life must follow cycles and be discouraged never helpss, but when i try look on the bright side I feel I am claim. I do not think I'm depressed – my life is beautiful, enough money, good health, a loving husband, friends and lots of things to keep me busy. How can I make the semblance real?
It's great that you care about what's going on around you and I do not think you should pretend otherwise. We all have to worry a lot. But I understand that it's not what you ask. This is how to really feel that everything will be fine. Some days it is a daunting challenge, is not it? But perhaps the most realistic quest is to find a way to take care of yourself, stay engaged and not fall into a sense of inevitability and inertia.
Let's take a closer look at you. You say that you do not think you are depressed despite feeling depressed. What you feel is important: do not minimize it. I want to make sure that you do not project your feelings on a larger canvas (the state of the world your grandchildren will inherit), because you do not think that your feelings alone are worthy of To be worried. You e-mailed me a second time to refer to it. Depression can affect anyone and we can all feel sometimes depressed. The important thing is not to spiral. Negative emotions are valid and important, but problems can begin if we stay stuck with them.
I also wonder if you think that depression is something that others have: it's pretty common, especially in people of your generation. You can have a good life, money, be healthy and always feel depressed – and this is allowed. In fact, sometimes these things can make recognition of depression more difficult because it's easy to think, "What should I be depressed about?
Did you tell someone else how you feel? A friend? Your husband? It would also be a good idea to consult your general practitioner because discussing this and recognizing it can help – there may be a counselor attached to the surgery.
How long have you felt like that? Is this a new thing? Has something triggered it? How did you deal with negative emotions when you were a child (it is important: if you have never been taught to treat certain feelings, you may not know what to do with them).
Sometimes external events can affect our feelings. other times, they do not affect us as much. The difference lies in what else we have, how far we can have a perspective and in which control we feel. And they all work in synergy. Were you a busier person than now? Anxiousness likes the emptiness.
When it comes to the world, think about the things that interest you most and what you can do. Is it the environment? Poverty? The word B? Get involved in everything you can: from local groups to global groups. I've included some suggestions below.
What contact do you have with your children and grandchildren? Teens are rather wonderful and can give you hope in a dark landscape: they often have a lot to say. I bet you have already made their world better. You may want to participate in something together. They are lucky to have such a (potentially) militant grandmother. But teens also worry a lot – so be factual with them, but try not to be too negative, because young people need older parents not to be completely doomed.
By committing yourself, you will feel more involved and more in control. Feeling that you are doing something will also allow you to turn off once in a while and find pleasure in little things of everyday life. Be aware of who you are talking to and what you are reading. It's one thing to stay informed, but do not cover your life with news, especially alarmist headlines that fill you with fear: they can be paralyzing instead of propelling.
Some days, you will always feel like pretending, and that's good. But I hope you will begin to bridge the gap between what you project and how you really feel.
mama.globalfundforwomen.org; centrepoint.org.uk; princes-trust.org.uk; greenpeace.org.uk; sharedlivesplus.org.uk; samaritans.org.
• Send your problem to [email protected]. Annalisa regrets not being able to enter a personal correspondence
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