A "disinterested" woman gives her kidney to the ex-husband five years after their divorce

Five years after their divorce, Dan Pyatt and his ex-wife Kelly Hope had the biggest disagreement in their lives.

While lying at Guy's Hospital, with failing kidneys and no donor after 12 months on the waiting list, she told him, "I'm going to get tested for a transplant."

Kelly Hope recalls, "He said, 'I can not ask you to do that.'

But I told him, "It's not up to you to decide. This is my decision. I know what the risks are and I do it. "

"Even though we were no longer together, I was not ready to leave my children without a father.

"And Dan is only 44. He has so much more life to lead."

Dan and Kelly had started dating at the age of 18 and were married 13 years later in 2007, but less than a year later, Dan was suffering from an illness. kidney failure aggressive type.

Waiting for their second daughter, the couple was warned that he would need a transplant in 10 years time.

"There were no kidney problems in Dan's family, he was just unlucky," says Kelly, 43. "He was always tired and had flu symptoms and headaches, but he is a taxi driver in London. .

"Then a weekend in Bournemouth, while I was pregnant in 2008, he was so sick that he could not get out of the hotel room."

They went to A & E where a urine sample showed a high blood level and he was admitted for further tests.

"They could not understand what was wrong, they were talking about leukemia, we were terrified," says Kelly.

"Then a consultant thought it might be kidney-related, so Dan was transferred to Guy's for a biopsy and was diagnosed with IgA nephropathy in both kidneys, an accumulation of proteins that inflamed and damaged the tissues."

The couple was told that there was no cure, but he was prescribed medication to protect his kidneys and they changed his diet and his lifestyle.

He regularly returned to Guy's home to be watched. In September 2017, he was told that his kidney function had dropped to only 8% and that he had been placed on dialysis and on a waiting list of a deceased donor.

Unfortunately, their marriage was now broken.

"There was nobody else involved, we did not get along any more, even though we tried and tried," says Kelly.

"We had priorities, life pressures, different work habits. I was PA at the time and Dan was a cab driver, so we were like ships at night.

"We did not just go, but we came to understand that we could not keep going in circles.

"It made the atmosphere at the house horrible.It was not healthy for the kids, so we decided that it would be better to separate."

Kelly stayed in the family home in Bromley, South East London, with her daughters, Billie and Jeanie, while Dan was settling in a nearby apartment.

But they were determined not to lose the friendship they had held since childhood.

"It was often difficult, but we were so good friends that we had to discuss our difficulties and find a way to make it work."

After their divorce, Kelly always went with Dan to his appointments at the hospital.

"He was on dialysis three days a week, six hours a day, which affected his relationship with girls.

"There was no quality time and it was really upsetting to see him really sick."

"The consultants started talking to Dan about a transplant, but he was not the type to tell his family or friends how critical things were.

"After a year on the list of deceased donors, we had not received any calls.

"It was badly deteriorating at that time and I understood what I had to do.

"He never asked me, I told him so."

The first tests showed that Kelly matched well, but their blood did not match.

"We had the opportunity to go into a donor pool, where I would give to someone, and then someone would give Dan back.

"But this only happens two or three times a year, without guarantee of a perfect match."

Because they were short of time, they decided, after considering the risks, to perform a blood-incompatible graft, which was to remove the antibodies from the blood to prevent rejection.

"We were very open with our girls because we did not want them to be scared.

"On the day of August 2018, they were with us to Guy.

"It was so moving. We sat with Dan for a while and he said, "Good luck, Kel, thank you very much."

"Then the girls beckoned me to go to the theater, I could see how worried they were, trying to smile, and I had to be strong for them."

The operation was a success and Dan was released five days later.

"He came out of there, you could see the difference immediately," Kelly said.

With Dan on anti-rejection tablets and able to return to work, they spent a merry Christmas with their daughters aged 16 and 11 and spent a holiday in France.

"Everyone is telling us," Are you sure you're going to get back now? "But that brought us together in a different way," Kelly insists.

"At Guy's, they said they would never have made an ex-donation, but everyone's relationship is different. When we separated, we were able to record the best parts of our relationship and rebuild from it.

"For me, I gave a kidney to my children's father and my best friend since I was 11 years old.

"We may not be married now, but we are still a family and I had to make that sacrifice to keep our family together."

As for Dan, he is always overwhelmed by the extraordinary gesture of his ex-wife.

"It was really a selfless act to put one's life in danger to help someone else, that's incredible. Kelly will always be my hero. "