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Nettie's heart broke as she walked away from her son Theo for the first time.
Since she was born, the American mother had been dreading the time when she would have to go back to work, no matter how much she loved her job.
It would take weeks before she could drop Theo baby to daycare without crying.
But the moment she finally gets used to the routine of the working mother, everything changes.
"I picked up Theo and I noticed that her little legs were covered with bruises between her knees and her ankles," she wrote for the first time in Love What Matters.
"He was only four months old, so he was not crawling yet.
"There was really no obvious explanation for the blues."
But when Nettie's husband, Nate, took Theo to the doctor, their concerns about his bruising were quickly resolved.
The devastating truth was revealed: Theo's white blood cell count was extremely high, which meant that he was most likely suffering from leukemia.
"Our minds were filled with fear and uncertainty and our stomachs were knotted," said Nettie.
"I distinctly remember walking down that long hallway to our room at the end and seeing the faces of all the nurses watching as we pbaded.
"It's terrifying as a parent."
Their fears became reality when Theo was diagnosed the next day with acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
The small baby started treatment immediately – with Nettie and Nate relieved to learn that he should only spend two weeks in the hospital.
But as the weeks went by, it became clear that their son was not coming home any time soon.
In the end, Theo was confined to her hospital room for seven and a half months, spending most of her first year in a sparse room.
"For several days, our only goal as parents was to make him smile or laugh once," said Nate.
"Several days we failed and several weeks ago he did not smile at all because he was so miserable.
"Just a small tearing face looking at you and you could see the pain in his eyes, the confusion of not understanding why he felt like that."
If their son's agony was not serious enough, Nettie and Nate also had to face doctors convinced that their little boy had no chance.
"I've heard the ICU doctor say:" I do not think he'll get through the week, "Nate recalls.
"The grief mixed with rage was like a ball of destruction for the faith in which I had been so solidified before that moment."
All the devastated parents could do, was hoping their son would defy the odds and get out of it, and for a while, Theo seemed to do just that.
"Finally, on April 13, 2018, just four days after Theo's first birthday, we were able to go home and begin the treatment maintenance phase," Nate said.
"Sweet victory!
"A battle was won and we spent the next nine months cherishing every moment at home."
Theo seemed to improve day by day, doctors suggesting that in August 2019, he would be fit enough to stop treatment altogether.
Then suddenly his blood count dropped and his temperature went up; Nettie and Nate immediately drove Theo to the hospital.
It was later in the afternoon, while the hospital staff was trying to figure out what was wrong, the phone rang.
"Our doctor was at the other end of the line, and his voice gave the impression that he did not want to say what he knew he was supposed to tell us," Nettie said.
"The results were back, and he detected a specific leukemia-like protein in 0.2% of the sample.
"Having been in complete remission, there should have been 0%.
"I was in shock and disbelief, how could this happen again?"
"The news has been absolutely devastating for our family.
"The same thing that we feared and worried every day had really happened," Nettie said.
"The leukemia was back in the body of our nice little boy."
But although furious that the cancer was back, Nettie knew that their family was strong enough to fight it.
"Feelings of anger have crept into me," she says.
"The anger that my baby had to undergo more treatments." The anger we saw at the end of the tunnel was now further away.
"The anger slowly dissipated in determination.We were determined to treat Theo with the best treatment, no matter what we had to do, so this is what we are doing now."
Follow Theo's journey on Instagram here.
This article was originally published on Kidspot and has been republished with permission.
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