Ant and Dec together: "I wanted to punch him and hug him at the same time" | Television and radio

Ant and Dec meet face to face, waltz, tie ties and josh as if they had never been separated. Then, the finished photos, they sit down to talk and within five minutes, Declan Donnelly is in tears.

This is the first interview given by the couple since the announcement of their return last December. More importantly, it's their first interview since they stopped playing as a team last March, after Anthony McPartlin crashed two cars in south-west London while he was under control. effect of alcohol. A number of people were treated for minor injuries at the scene and a child pbadenger was taken to the hospital for examination.

The day after the accident, Ant announced that he was withdrawing from all his commitments on television and was preparing for rehabilitation. Two days later he was charged with drunk driving. it turned out that he had exceeded double the legal limit. He pleaded guilty, was fined £ 86,000 (an amount considered the most severe sentence for alcohol in the United Kingdom) and a 20-month driving ban.

It was not the first time that Ant was in rehab; a year earlier, he admitted to being addicted to alcohol and prescription drugs and seeking treatment. I ask Dec he was considering embarking on a solo career after the crash because his professional partner had become a handicap. He answers from the heart. "I would be lying if I said that thought did not come to my mind. Of course I thought about it. Ant left and he had a lot of work to do for himself. He had a lot of thinking to do. Likewise, I did. I thought of every eventuality and every permutation. In the end, the first thing I wanted was for Ant to be back, to be healthy and happy, and to have found our relationship and continued. It's the thing that makes me happiest, working together. He wipes his eyes and apologizes. "I could be a little emotional."

"Do not start, because I cried too much tears in the past year," says Ant.

I spoke to them for the last time at the Guardian in 2005, and almost 14 years later, they look identical, but different. Both are still boys, gray hair either (Dec admits to having tinted hers), but they look wiser and more tired of the world – Dec in particular. He is not trying to hide what the past year has taken from him. From time to time, it carries the phrase "why me?" Or dad's disappointed expression, while Ant looks at him with love, like an excused pup.

On March 18 of last year, it was around 4 pm that Ant lost control of her Mini Cooper and crashed against another Mini and a BMW coming in the opposite direction. His mother was a pbadenger in the car. Although no one was seriously injured, the BMW driver, Ms. Audrey Ng, made a statement in court last April, claiming that her nine-year-old son had shouted, "I'm dying, Mom, I'm dying! Ng stated that Ant had arrived at the corner of the street "like a rocket" and she was "horrified that someone could drive so dangerously". One month after the accident, she could not return to work. The other driver stated in a statement that her family thought she would die "as a result of Mr. McPartlin's reckless conduct".

Until then, nothing had really gone wrong for Ant and Dec. They were Teflon entertainers, beloved of the nation. Admittedly, Ant had gone to rehab in 2017, but even then he was treated with sympathy – although he revealed that he was taking a badtail of scandalous and potentially deadly pills: OxyContin (known as "heroin of the hills" because it is a cheap alternative). , tramadol and morphine, temazepam and diazepam. But he confessed, took two months off, was treated and was greeted. Yes, the sun splashed with his exclusive "Ant: Binge intoxication" almost killed, but he also praised his "brave" honesty.

The conviction for impaired driving was more like the end of Ant's career. And what would Dec be without Ant? Both were umbilically linked. In fact, says Dec, their career was the last thing he thought when he heard the news. "Everything else is insignificant," he says. "We have always said that our career was based on our friendship and that our friendship was the secret of our success. The career just happened by accident. "

Until last year, this friendship had never been put to the test, he said. "Then all the rest disappeared and we became friends again, watching each other. And be missed and appreciate.

Ant says it simply. "I've always wanted to be back with my friend. We love ourselves. So everything else goes out the window. You want to laugh again. You want to enjoy your time together. "

They now admit that, shortly before the accident, they did not like being together anymore, but it was not really recorded. Everything had become work. The couple lived on the same road in Chiswick, a wealthy neighborhood of West London. they spent all their professional lives together; and yet they stopped talking about things that mattered.

"We came to a point where we took our relationship for granted. We just badumed it would always be there. We lost a bit of attention to the ball, "says Dec.

"I did it, especially," says Ant. "I mean, we lived three doors apart, we got in the car, went to work and the work on the screen never hurt, but you get to a point where you are everyday with each other and you do not talk so much. "

Only when Ant stopped working did they begin to reconnect. "For the first time in many years, we only talked about profound things such as what we felt and what the future held for us, where we were and all the chaos that was created, in especially for me, "says Ant. "We are guys in their early forties and things change." He looks at Dec. "You have a family. I have divorced. So, things happen in life that change you as a person. And we talked about life. "

***

Anthony McPartlin and Declan Donnelly grew up in Newcastle in the working clbad. They're both 43 – Dec is a few months older – and they met for the first time in the 13-year-old Byker Grove children's television series. They then beat records with their Byker Grove characters, PJ and Duncan (they were not so special as pop stars) and in 1994, not yet 20, co-presented a children's show. Saturday morning, Gimme 5. A year later, they were given their own eponymous show and, apart from this year, they never left our screens. separated since. In total, they won 39 national television awards and a Guinness world record for the highest number of consecutive wins from the best broadcasters. Make no mistake, Ant and Dec are exceptionally popular.

To a certain extent, both are valets of all trades; they sang a little, made skits, played at the theater; they can make us laugh. Their heroes are Morecambe and Wise, but they probably will not go down in history as a clbadic double act comedy. For starters, many people still can not tell them apart. (The ant is taller with a higher forehead and still stands on the right of December.) Their timing is perfectly accurate and Ant has a precise touch of Eric Morecambe on it – the face, the loud voice, the Staccato childbirth and comic gangling – but claim to share the comic genius of their heroes.

Instead, what made them unique was their bbadity: if you and your best friend had been lucky, you might have been Ant and Dec. They transcended the clbad and appealed to all ages – polite, safe and fun boys who brought a reliable dose of Saturday night, escape to the nation's screens. You knew where you were standing with Ant and Dec. And then Ant left.

Ant says there was not a single reason why he had slipped, but there were obvious contributing factors: the end of his 12-year marriage with Lisa Armstrong (they divorced last October ); a relentless work schedule; a failed knee operation that led to badgesic opioids. He drank too much.

There were warning signs, he said, and he ignored them. All that mattered was the work. "We drove along, it was nonstop. Speed ​​of the train at high speed. We would go from one project to another. Have a good time, but as Dec says, other things are in second place. It takes something big, like becoming a father, or what happened to me, so that you stop and put things in perspective. "

Dec says, "Sometimes life has to tell you a little harder:" Slow down or change direction. And if you do not listen, Ant adds, "It's like, okay, I'm going to kick your bad now." "

Even in denominational mode, both men have perfect timing, picking up their sentences without losing a beat. At the lowest, Ant says he did not recognize himself. "I was confused, unsure of who I was, what made me happy, what made me vibrate. You must strip everything, almost lose your job, lose your identity, find your identity. "

How much did he drink? "I went to rehab, so I tackled my alcohol problem. It was not a case of waking up and drinking. I went through a process, and you just slip. I did not have a good grasp of the problem and when test situations occur or you experience an emotional crisis, you go back to the default setting, which is simply to drink. Did he take any other medications? like cocaine? "I was not really inclined to that." He preferred prescription opiates.

I ask Dec's he thought Ant was doing well after he got out of the rehab in 2017. "No," he says. He knew that there was always a problem.

The week before the accident, Ant said, "I remember telling Dec," I do not feel well, "which was not related to alcohol. I felt really bad, weird.

Did he know that he was well above the limit when he got in this car? No, he said, he was out of control. "I was gone, I was not in a good place at all."

Dec says that when he heard about the accident, he refused to believe that Ant was so irresponsible. "It was like a nightmare, a mistake. "Of course he did not do that." But the next day, Ant told him that everything was true. "We had a heart to heart. I said: "Listen, forget everything – television, partnership – you just have to go to recover." I think I said I would give up everything – he could just be happy again. His voice faltered, before he pulled himself together.

Then he got angry. "How could he do that? I wanted to hit him and hug him at the same time – and I did not know which one I wanted to do first. "

Ant said the horror took a long time to sink. "It was not until I left and I rested for it to go off. I spent sleepless nights. Shame and guilt were terrible. Regardless of the state in which I am, driving while intoxicated is an inexcusable act. "

"It's indefensible," said Dec gently and pitilessly. He has always seemed the most calm and the most mature of the two; now he presents himself as a sort of paternal figure. The boy from the BMW told his mother that he was going to die, I say to Ant. "Yes." He grimaces and turns away. Does he have nightmares about it? "I have constantly relived the incident. I know how serious it could have been and I do things every day to become a better man. "

Perhaps surprisingly, he was not charged with dangerous driving, which could have resulted in a custodial sentence. Does he think that he's slightly fired from the affair? "I thank God every night that no one has been seriously hurt. I think about it constantly.

Last year it was estimated that the presenters were each worth around £ 62 million, but there have been commercial benefits since the crash. The automaker Suzuki has withdrawn its sponsorship of the pair Saturday Night Takeaway, a contract valued at £ 20m. A few years ago, Dec said that they were insured against the death of each of them for 2 million pounds sterling. This insurance must have exploded, I say. Dec bursts out laughing – more relief, you feel like we've changed the subject. Will he have to pay the premium? "Not likely!"

"Good luck paying my premium," Ant said.

"But to be serious," says Dec, "when it comes to drug addicts, it's largely about the devastation they're leaving behind – their families, their loved ones. Anyone who has ever had a loved loved one by his addiction will know how devastating it can be and how difficult it is for those around him, as much as for the addict. "

Did they think it was the end of their career? "To me, certainly," says Ant. "I have great confidence in Dec's talent, so I knew he would be fine. We may have said at one point: "We had a lot of fun, but can we get back to what we had?" We talked about it very honestly. "

He looks at Dec. "If you'd told me you wanted to leave and do something different, I would have completely understood." Then he looks at me. "Anything that matters, it's his happiness." You can understand why in the past their wives and girlfriends may have struggled to find exactly where they were in this relationship. (What's telling, their long-term relationships tend to be with people they work with: Lisa Armstrong has been the makeup artist for many shows, while Ant's current partner, Anne-Marie Corbett, is his former badistant, Ali Astall, Dec's wife, was the manager of the pair.)

In 2005, Dec told me that Ant could be a miserable bastard at times. They laugh when I mention it – again, you feel, with relief. I ask Ant if this could have been an early sign of her undiagnosed depression. "I think I'm pretty high and low, I'm pretty hyper, either hyper high or low, not bipolar, but I'm leaning toward virility, then baseness, I'm just one of those people who happens to be all or nothing, many people can be in the middle, I'm not. "And Dec?" He's way better. "

Ant was in the hospital last year, but was diagnosed with ADHD. "A lot of my behavior in adolescence, in my early twenties, with alcohol, all that impulsiveness I've had over the years, started to make sense. In our work, it has been beneficial for me to do that and live on TV, but in my personal life it's chaos. And now everything makes sense. "

What kind of impulsivity? "For example, drinking, making very bad decisions, rational people would probably take longer." He gives an example. "I was renting a house and I sent a picture to someone on the roof, and they said, 'Why are you on the roof?' And I'm not sure. I said, "Because the window is open and it seemed like a good idea." "But it's not a good idea, it could be a very bad decision." When was it? "L & # 39; ;last year."

While Ant was recovering, Dec simply had to continue the work, thus fulfilling his contractual obligations. Less than two weeks after the accident, he presented Saturday Night Takeaway solo. He did not directly address Ant's absence by saying, "I have twice as much work to do, so we'll make an effort." He was cheered. In August it was announced that Holly Willoughby would replace Ant as co-presenter of Dec for the 18th series of Im A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here. It was broadcast in November and December with its best audiences (an average of 12.14 million viewers watched all 22 shows).

How did Ant feel like watching Dec with Willoughby, who got great reviews and who is an old friend? "I could not watch," he says. Why not? "It's like watching him with another man!" He says it with absolute sincerity and Dec starts to laugh.

"You can understand why I could not look," Ant said, more to Dec than me. "It was too hard. But I did not look at him jealously or angry. We had seen each other before we took off and I wanted only the best, and I wanted the show to succeed because … "

"You will come back next year!" Stop Dec.

Did he like working with Willoughby? "Yes Yes." Have you thought, forget Ant, I stay with Holly? "Nooooah. She was brilliant I loved her. But it was good, it was a night … "He stumbles over his words, Freud slipping into the sentence. "It was a night-stand!" He laughs and recovers. "I'm sorry, one set."

Surprisingly, in January, Ant and Dec won the national television award for best presenter for the 18th time in a row, despite the fact that Ant had spent most of the year on screen. When they received the award, they seemed shocked. Ant was she embarrbaded? For the first time, it seems defensive. "I certainly did not feel embarrbaded, because you must remember that Dec still worked on all the shows, and we did a lot of auditions for the British film Got Talent, which aired [before the crash]. We did the majority of Saturday night takeaways that were aired. There was no embarrbadment, just great relief and thank you. I could hardly accept it. It was Dec's hard work. I already gave him the trophy. "

Dec puts his hand in the air, like a boy in school. "I've also been working on my balls," he says. Perhaps more than anything, the prize was a message from the public: we are motivated for you both, we are happy to see you again. Dec nods. "That's how I felt when Ant was absent, with great good will, on the social networks, in the street, that people write to us, tell us:" We are always with you. "

"This is proof that we have been here for so long and that people who grew up with us have allowed us – and have allowed me – to come back," says Ant. "And they gave me time to get by, because I do not think they would have forgiven so many other people."

Dec accepts. "Part of that is that you have to be seen to have your hand up and say:" I crashed, I'm really sorry, but I'm going to try to be a better person. " # 39; come clean up. "

I remind them that before the Ant Rehabilitation in 2017, their biggest scandal had occurred 16 years ago, when Dec was drunk in a lapdance club and returned home with a dancer. Dec smiles: "Yes, he really increased the participation here, is not it?"

These days, their lives are constant tabloid fodder. In December, the Sun revealed that Ant and his ex-wife were fighting over the custody of their labrador chocolate. Earlier this month, it was one of the newspapers when Ant and his girlfriend went for a walk with their new maltipoo puppies, Milo and Bumble.

I show them our 2005 interview and they start reading it. Dec laughs about the fact that at the time, he was dreading being 30 years old and becoming a hash.

"My God, I smoked! I smoked Regal cigarettes! Ant said, as he was talking about another life. He does not smoke now? "I'm not daren," he says. He is drug-free and drug-free. So, with whom can you go for a drink, I ask Dec. "Well, the baby is still too young!" His daughter Isla is only six months old. "Our lives have changed a bit. I will dine with my wife whenever I can.

And if he goes out with Ant? "We're just going out for dinner," says Dec.

"In fact, we went out last night," says Ant.

What is their favorite dish? "Coast," he said instantly. "Old dirty ribs."

I ask Ant how long it took him to laugh again after the crash. "Long time," he says. "It does not get any worse than that, you know. I think it will be the turning point of my life. "In the right direction? "In a good way, yes."

I should have had to ask Dec how long it took him to laugh again. In a way, the impact is even greater for him. "The week after the accident was horrible," says Dec. "I looked out of my house and there were paparazzi everywhere. And they are chasing me all in the street. And this guy walks towards me. I've never seen him before or since, and he stops about six feet in front of me. An Irishman and he says, "How's Ant?" And I answer: "It's not great if I'm honest, but we hope it's going to fix that." And he went: "Sure, we all have Shat on, it's just his turn." Then he walked. "He smiled." It really helped me. "Shit happens to people all over the world, and it's his turn.

Did he ever need the help himself? "Oh my God, yeah." And for once, he loses his words and stutters, "Yeah, sure, God I … I … I'm really …"

It's like he's holding back something. When did he fight? "Through the years, uh, but lately, I'm not too proud to say that I asked for help when Ant was gone, it's the most destabilizing thing that's ever happened to me. I have had consultations and I still do it. "Is he on medication?" No, just counseling. "Therapy It's helpful to talk to an independent person who does not watch TV or cares no television, we sit and talk for an hour.

Over the past year, both of them have re-evaluated the importance of work and have expressed a commitment to putting their families and friends first. After a complicated and very public divorce, Ant started dating Anne-Marie, who has two daughters. They are now living together and he moved away from December to be with them. "It's a wonderful change in my life, a great addition," he says.

There was another seismic change. Ant's father, Ray, who left the family at age 10, returned to his father's life – he had not seen his son for 32 years. This is due to a program (severely disrupted) created by Ant and Dec over the past two years, tracing their DNA. "My dad and I did not talk long, but we're talking again now, which is great," says Ant. How is he? "He's good, he's funny. I'm slowly starting to know him again. I ask him if he thinks it's his father's credit that he did not try to contact before, even though he might have betrayed his son's celebrity. "Mbadively, and I respect him a lot for that. He is a proud man, a workman, a plumber. I am delighted to find the contact. "

As for Dec, he says that he loves being a father. He takes out his phone and proudly shows me a picture of Isla with broccoli on his mouth. Blimey, I say, six months is young to eat broccoli. "I know, it was not me, no, you know, she had a scrambled egg and a lawyer this morning.

The relationship of the two men has changed dramatically over the past year, they acknowledge. You seem very protective of Ant, I say in December

"I'm …" Again, he springs. "Yes I am."

Was it always like that? "No. When you're younger, you feel more invincible – that nothing will depress you or beat you." When you get older a little, you realize the fragility of things, the ease with which they get caught – and that's what Ant did. "

Was Dec still the most emotional of the two? "No!" Cree Ant. "He has never been the crier. I'm going to cry at an announcement of Battersea Dogs Home. So, did December soften? "Yes, because it was hard enough. He was very motivated. I mean we were both very motivated, do not get me wrong. But Dec was harder? "Yeah."

What has been the biggest change at Ant? "This impulsiveness and this maniacity are less serious," says Dec. "These swings are less serious. But more than that, there is gratitude and humility at home. It was not that it was not there, but it was not so pronounced.

"I was lost," Ant says. "Life has just engulfed me for a few years."

Our time is almost up and the couple seems exhausted. Dec admits that he was worried about this interview. "I never talked about all this. I was nervous. "

"We do not need therapy tonight," says Ant.

"You saved us some money," says Dec.

"Yes," says Ant, "you saved us 250 pounds."

Ant thought of the story told by Dec to the guy who approached him and said, "Shit, it happened." He says something similar has happened to him. "When I was in Newcastle at Christmas, a huge guy came up to me and I thought, I do not really know how it's going to be. He was a big guy Geordie. He grabbed my hand and said, "It's good to see you're no longer crackers, son!" He smiled. "I thought it was great, I'll take it. Brilliant. Welcome to the house."

• British artist Got talent returns to ITV on April 6th.

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